For at Least One of Us, Christmas Can't Come Soon Enough

As it turns out, sometimes it's good to procrastinate.

Although still sidelined by swine flu, Hubs and I finally managed to wrap everyone's presents a couple of nights ago. When the children woke the next morning, they were treated to the sight of a Christmas tree surrounded on all sides by dozens of gaily wrapped gifts. Punky, still weak from illness, smiled quietly as she gazed at the festive splendor.

Two-year-old Bruiser? Totally lost it.

"Presents!" he shouted, pointing frantically at the tree. "Mommy! Daddy! Presents!" He ran for the tree at breakneck speed. "I OPEN THEM!"

"No, Bruiser!" Hubs and I shouted. "Stop! Wait! No!"

Holding our squirming, toystruck son back, we tried our best to explain to him that he would open his presents on Christmas morning. Which was only two days away! Christmas! Morning!

But as many of you know, two-year-olds have only the most tenuous hold on the concept of time.

"It's Christmas!" Bruiser has announced at least 224 times ever since that moment. "Time to open presents!"

"No, Bruiser."

"Yes! Is Christmas time!"

"No."

"Yes! I open presents!"

The last two days have, to him, anyway, stretched on like years.

Years.

The kid is practically camped out by the Christmas tree. This marks the first year our Bruiser has any real comprehension of Christmas and he is beside himself with anticipation. These will be my memories of my son this holiday...

Keep your fingers crossed that he can hold out one more night.

The Most Wonderful Gift

Christmas is in two days and...

We're all recovering from swine flu.

We skipped some a lot most of our Jesse Tree devotionals.

We totally forgot to send out presents to a few extended family members.

We still haven't made our gingerbread house.

We didn't make it to the live nativity.

We've done absolutely no baking.

We've waited until the very last minute to wrap presents.

I should feel like this Christmas has been one big, huge, swine flu-filled failure. But I don't. In fact, I've already deemed this Christmas season a magnificent success. Because a few days ago, my daughter brought this home from school.


I volunteered in her class on the day she was given this assignment, so I knew the teacher had written "Christmas is---" on the board and told the children to finish the sentence however they were able to.

When it comes to spelling, Punky's still working on a little thing called 'vowels.' But I could tell what she was trying to say. And I can also tell you that when I was five years old, this is the absolute last thing I would have written. Despite the fact that we were proper Baptists and I went to church two times a week, Christmas would have been PRESENTS! Or SANTA CLAUS! Or... or... PRESENTS!

I've spent the last three years trying to weave the story of Jesus's birth into the fun of our family's Christmas traditions. And I have worried that my efforts would be totally drowned out by all the toy commercials and secular teachings at school and non-religious store decorations and television shows and the very fact that it's incredibly hard for a baby born in a stable two thousand years ago to compete with a jolly fat man who has elves! And a toy factory!

But somehow, some way, Punky got it.

Christmas is bb Jess bfday!

That's exactly what it is. Plain and simple. My five-year-old has down what so many of us who are older and wiser have completely forgotten.

I've already gotten my gift this Christmas. And it's more than I had ever hoped for.

We Interrupt These Holidays for the Swine Flu

As if last Christmas's Pneumonia Chronicles weren't enough, this year, five out of six Ferriers currently are struck with or recovering from the Swine Flu.

Swine flu. So embarrassing.

Bruiser was the first to come down with it, only we didn't know it at the time. Even though he had fever and respiratory troubles and even though I took him in twice and his condition warranted a breathing treatment, an inhaler, a chest x-ray, and a prescription for a breathing machine, inexplicably no one bothered to test him for the flu. He even got his second dose of the H1N1 vaccine on his second visit.

Next, our 16-year-old came down with it, just in time for her exams. Since her symptoms were the same as Bruiser's and no one at the doctors had said anything about the possibility of H1N1 (I was told he had "mild asthma brought on by a cold virus"), swine flu didn't occur to me.

But when Punky came down with a fever and coughing two nights ago, I decided to request a flu test when I took her in to the doctor the next morning. It would be less than 48 hours after she had come down with it, so if by chance she did have the flu, she would qualify for a Tamiflu prescription and hopefully avoid all that Bruiser had gone through.

So they tested her. And sure enough, she had the flu. Which means she has the Swine Flu, since seasonal flu hasn't hit Tennessee yet. Which means Bruiser had the Swine Flu. And so did our 16-year-old. And so did Hubs when he came down with it Saturday night. And so did I, when I woke up with it yesterday morning. And I'm thinking the only reason our 19-year-old hasn't gotten it was that she probably had it when it was going around her university in October and she came down with fever and a bad cough. Which are, as it turns out, the prime symptoms of Swine Flu!

Oh and anyway, after a very lonnnnng doctor's appointment which mostly consisted of us waiting in an empty examining room, the doctor wouldn't even prescribe Tamiflu to Punky. As I drove home, I rethought her very brief explanation and realized I was crazy not to get Punky the Tamiflu prescription so that she could avoid all that her sister and brother had gone through. So I called the doctor to very politely and reasonably tell her my thoughts. And that woman didn't even bother return my call. Grr. And now, of course, the 48-hour window has passed and Punky is miserable. I hope that doctor wakes up on Christmas morning with a big, pus-filled pimple on the tip of her nose.

Anyway, I thought it would be funny to put a sign on our front door that said, "Warning! We all have the Swine Flu!" and then secretly Flip video the UPS and FedEx guys when they come to our door. But I was too worried that they would turn and run without even bothering to drop off our packages. And WE REALLY NEED THOSE PACKAGES.

Other than that, I think we'll be spending the next few days coughing and lying around and watching lots of Christmas movies.

It's a Swine Flu Christmas, y'all! Anyone want to come over and keep us company?

I didn't think so.

P.S. Remember Brittany here and catch another fabulous online sale here.

Mama's Got a Brand New Blog

Okay, so.

I don't have a whole lot of money or time right now, but like many of you, I still love to shop when I have the opportunity. I love looking at the celebrity pictures on People.com, to see the latest styles. I love attempting to stay fit. And I love checking out department store and designer websites, looking for great deals.

The problem is that I have a hard time finding fashion/beauty blogs that cater to me, a mom in her mid-thirties who still likes to look good, but doesn't want to see pictures of trashy trends like ripped pantyhose or emaciated 15-year-olds posing in butt-ugly outfits. I want to find affordable clothing that hides my "problem areas," but still makes me look youthful and pretty. I want to mix in the looks of the moment without spending too much cash on them. I want to know where the great sales are and how I can find them. But I have yet to find a site I like that contains all that information and is geared toward people like me.

So I've created my own. It's sort of an experiment right now- If you all like it and find it useful and I'm having fun adding content, I'll continue adding to it. If you all think I don't know what I'm talking about, it will probably go by the wayside. Right now, I've got the lowdown on a great online sale that runs through today only, a fabulous haircut that I think is perfect for the busy mom, and my latest Beauty Uncensored column, which happens to be about a diet that gave me some pretty dramatic results in a short amount of time. Oh and one of you just sent in the deets on another great sale going on this weekend only- Check it out!

Take a look and tell me what you think! And if you have any ideas for fashion/beauty posts or sites you like, whether they're blogs, Flickr photostreams, websites, or online stores, be sure and share them with me and I'll post them.