Finally, a response from the pageant side. This mom commented in the last post, so I just put it in a post of its own, since I know many of you will want to read what she has to say. Her words are in italics, mine are not.
I am only saying that it is wrong to judge anyone by a photo. Nor is it right to judge someone based on one activity they participate in one afternoon. That is also not an in depth look at their lives or values. When we receive my daughters glitz photos, my daughter and I giggle, laugh, and we call them "a work of art". The photographers are very good at what they do but they are retouched for the use of making them a "participation item" and not meant for the family Christmas card or for view of the general public. Not all Glitz girls use those photos. Dixieland as well as other Glitz pageants do have a Natural Photo category as we all seem to giggle a little with the retouched photos. You have not judged my daughters participation in a pageant nor have you put her photos in your judgement. It is just wrong to label people (even small children as you did) or judge parenting and what these contestants are like based on the unknowledgeable information you have seen or heard.
No one here is judging the children. We are judging those parents who are allowing their children to be photographed in provocatively posed, Photoshopped, publicly-released (and they are public, because they end up on competition websites and in public message board banners, where anyone can see them) pictures. It disturbs me that you and your daughters call them "works of art," like they're something to be prized.
Also, I've made it very clear here that I'm not opposed to state fair-style pageants or natural pageants, in which the children still look like children. I'm talking specifically about glitz pageants.
The Private Party sign and the wrist bands which are required for entrance are there because it is just that, a Private Party. Nothing to be ashamed of, daycare centers and schools are an example of "we don't want undesirables around our children." You must check in to the schools or daycare before you are permitted near the children and they are much more lax about entrance than we are at pageants. Pageants are an invitation/participation event only. Pageants are a forum, a chance for our girls to show their talent be it Ballet, tap, jazz, gymnastics, karate, singing, poise, manners, speaking ability (manners and speaking ability were held in interview forum before the stage events) Casualwear modeling or even the ProAm events. To answer another post I saw earlier, they are not all 2 yrs old and younger, many of them are 3 yrs old and older with many even the general public would consider extremely talented. There is a 3 yr old who competes in pageants who is the best gymnast I have ever seen. She is better than some of the teens I have seen in my own state. This little gymnast might wear a gold metal at the Olympics in the future. I am sorry you only saw the ProAm event which is only an optional that is suppose to capture as many dance moves and expression possible without tripping or missing a beat. The origination of ProAm was to capture as many as possible usable modeling photos in a 60 second time limited. It has since evolved to include gymnastic and dance moves to capture movement in each shot. We do not want an unfortunate incident of obscene men with no morals (pedophiles) from the general public in the audience to just sit there and ooggle young girls. Most pedophiles capture their pray in the victims home, their own yard, walking to/from school or at the local play area. They are looking for an easy get away not a room full of parents who would kill them rather than see them in a court room. We are not ashamed, just trying to be careful and watchful for who comes in the room. If anyone at any time touched a contestant or God forbid grabbed a contestant her/his appendages would have been ripped off before they made it half way across the ballroom. Think about it, over 100 contestants along with their mothers, fathers, grandmothers and other family members. If someone were to touch one of them, the whole audience would have been apart to dismembering or at least rescuing the contestant and holding the criminal. A criminal of that sort seems to have the profile of waiting until a mother looks the other way or when a child is in their own back yard and mother thinks it is safe to not be so attentive. I cannot say I know the criminal mind but most crimes I hear about in the news are "I just turned my back for a second and..."
Perfect example of the difference I see between glitz pageants and an "acceptable" (to me) pageant: Last weekend, the Tennessee State Fair held a pageant for babies through young adults and publicized the hell out of it. Watching a little girl parade on stage in her own hair and party dress just doesn't anger people like watching a little girl in a fake tan, fake hair, false eyelashes and bikini parade on stage.
It wasn't difficult to be admitted to your pageant- I'm fairly certain that anyone who made an effort to appear normal could get in- but since you bring this topic up about keeping pedophiles away from the girls, I have to say that I saw several unattended pageant girls out in the massive lobby, standing inside while their moms went out in the courtyard for a smoke, practicing their routines, etc. There were several larger events occuring at the same time and people were everywhere, including little girls in full costume, hair and makeup. I'm not saying that you're not careful with your girls, but I don't think all of the moms are.
The girls and families at the pageants cheer loud and clear from the audience and from behind the massive production company. The girls and families of all get a huge kick out of cheering on the contestant who is on stage. That contestant also gets a huge kick out of hearing everyone cheer for him/her while they are on stage.I have enjoyed reading your column on the pageant as well as the others linked. I find most of what was said is due to lack of knowledge on this subject which has made me laugh for days. I thank you for the laughs. The posts I particularly laugh about are the why not let the children be children. Please remember this was a planned event where the girls from baby through adults, not just babies, were there to competed as an event. I understand that you are a mother of a very young daughter so your focus was only on the babies. After their events were finished the girls of all ages took off their competition uniforms (make up and all) to played in the enormous sand box located just feet away from the ballroom as well as played in the pool also located just a few feet from the ballroom. They were also given a limo ride to the Build A Bear Work Shop and Rain Forest Cafe. They were treated to a large Cinderella, horse driven carriage ride. Not just the girls who won the pageant but all girls who participated in the pageant. We met DiVine (elegant lady on stilts dressed in all greenery who performed numerous acrobatics) and had a few snap shot with her. We went for a ride in the boat that tours around the hotel. We took in the shows that were available at the hotel. It was more than just seeing their child on stage doing what they do best but a family vacation. As you said in a post earlier, families came from out of state.I was personally more interested in the younger contestants, because they were really too young to even form a coherent opinion on pageants. I suspect that at least some of them will grow up and be very angry that they were put into that kind of situation by their mothers before they had any real understanding of what was going on.
And I think I speak for most of my readers when I say that we don't doubt that some elements of the pageant are fun for the girls, but why not take them to storytime at the library or the park? Or take your entire family on a vacation to, say, Disney World? Why not give them dance or acting lessons if they have a desire to perform? I suspect they'd have even more fun if they weren't subjected to airbrush tans, hair extensions, uncomfortable costumes, and false eyelashes- and if they weren't under pressure from the age of 2 or 3 to remember a stage routine (and not to mess up their hair, costume, or makeup) in front of a panel of judges.
The next issue I want to address tonight is the gyration to music by the 2 yr olds and under. How in the world can any of you expect a child 2 yrs or under to gyrate to music or for any other reason other than an epileptic seizure or movement to a beat. I have yet to see a child that age move fast enough or in a provocative way to call it gyration or anything remotely like a slut or hooker. Get your minds out of the gutter and stop thinking of children doing things to be suggestively provocative. I have seen toddlers in the check out line at the grocery store bend over in half and make peek a boos in between there little bums going up and down at the parents while they pay the cashier. Is it different because it is in front of the general public and not wearing something a toddler would wear for dance?
Again,
no one is judging the girls or holding them in any way responsible for what's going on. I
am, however,
harshly and adamantly judging the parents for allowing the girls to learn routines that were absolutely
characterized by hip/rump shaking. They don't understand what's going on, but you do, and should not allow it. It's one thing when a toddler lifts her butt up and down spontaneously in a store; it's quite another when she's been taught to do that on a stage before judges. It's making me furious just thinking about it.
It was also sickening to me when all the girls were asked to line up on stage for the judges and every single one put one hand on her hip and thrust it out over and over in that age-old Mae West motion- a motion that is a well-known caricature of a prostitute. Just for perspective, I remember seeing that same move on television when I was five on some comedy show, along with a "Hi, Big Boy" from the television character. I tried it out on my family that night and my mom grabbed me and nicely but firmly told me I was never to do that again.
I was just about to submit this when I saw a few questions. Hair and Make up takes from 5- minutes.
IMPOSSIBLE. I couldn't do that to myself in five minutes, let alone do it to a three-year-old.
Airbrush tanning takes 5 minutes the night before a pageant.
Personally, I'd be doubtful about putting chemicals on a young child and letting her sleep overnight in them.
"Sitting for dental work" has me very confused. If your child requires a dental appointment then they sit through it. There is no dental work required for Glitz pageants.
I think they were referring to having the flippers made for them.
Lessons go on during the week or weekends depending on the coaches schedule and your child's schedule. Preparing for a pageant has some effect on the other children but it is minimal if you schedule your coaching and other events around the events of the other children in the family. Sorry but a karate tournament or any event my children participate are equal. You need to be the parent and figure out your family schedule in advance. Hair and make up is only 15 minutes tops. There are no wigs in Glitz pageants, there are hair extension pieces which are made in a hair do the night before and placed on the head during the almost 15 minutes of Hair and make up. The time with the hair and make up usually has no effect on the rest of the family given only one other family member is to wait during that time.The clothes are to be of a color that accents your child well and fit well. Clothes are generally ordered months in advance since designers have many clients. There is always grow room made into the outfits given the advanced order and girls do grow. Measuring for an outfit takes all of five minutes.Effects on the boys in the family? If the boys want to participate and there is an age group for them most participate just for the fun of it all. If not they are there with the family to enjoy the vacationing and most brothers support their sisters as well as the sisters support the brothers in their activities.The teeth issue, well toddlers do not use flippers nor do they loose teeth. It is the toothless aged girls who have flippers to just fill in where their teeth are missing for that month. It is hard for a judge to see little Jane's beautiful smile when little Susie has the same amount of missing teeth but has a flipper. Particularly hard when plans were made, Jane and Susie were both looking forward to that one particular pageant and missing a few teeth that will grow in fully in a few days/weeks. Who can predict when a child looses a tooth or when the new tooth grows back? Sorry but a child preparing for the life time experience of joy and then to not be allowed to go based on a natural occurrence? Now comes the flipper to fill in for the weekend. The time it takes to make a mold of the mouth in quick dry plastic is all the time it takes for a child.
I think that flippers may have started as a way to fill in missing teeth, but I don't think it's that way anymore. The before and after pictures on flipper websites show mostly young girls with a front tooth gap or crooked baby teeth. And the girl I saw take her flippers out had all her real teeth. I watched a group of five six-year-olds practicing right beside me and I'm 90% sure all of them had flippers- Most of them were touching them every five minutes and a few of them had grossly-oversized, perfect white teeth that were obviously cheaply done and fake.
Bottom line: Teeth should not be judged on a young child. Period. If you're having to get fake teeth for your daughter, I mean
think. There's something wrong with that.
Spending thousands? Ok if you went into a pageant full fledged for the first time then yes you would need a bit of money up front. If an outfit cost you $1,000 or more and you sell the outfit for $100 less than you paid, your child won $100 in the outfit you just broke even for that outfit plus all the great times your daughter and you had with the times she wore it.
Family budget doing well? If one child wants to try out with a musical instrument you rent or buy the instrument, book classes, pay for lessons and hope they stay with that particular instrument long enough to see how well they do with it. If they bomb with that instrument and want to try another you do the same. Children are not cookie cutter people, they vary and each ends up their own particular Best Cookie. Our jobs as parents is to allow them the opportunities to try new things and back them up in what motivates them. No matter how many children you have a parent wants to do the best they can for each. I have one child who loves signing, dancing to her own drum and she loves pageants. I have a daughter who loves being a tomboy, dirt bikes and all and yes she has three. She participated in pageants for a few years, she started violin in kindergarten then gave it up for clarinet in 6th grade. She is now a pianist and loves her acoustic guitar. I have a son who loves music and he has tried many instruments but loves the guitar best. He was in pageants briefly when he was in his just before teens to try it out for himself. My older daughter and son both use to come with us on pageant weekends but now they are older they come only now and then. If anyone says they are in pageants for the scholarships or the money they should quit now. Pageants are not about the money they are all about the experiences your child receives from them. My daughter has approximately $5,000 in savings bonds but she has been in pageants for a few years. It is all about the time we spend with each other during the weekend, her doing her best on stage, gradually learning that practice does count (she is in pageants that reward each girl based on her performance that day). Glitz pageants are usually not solely based on Beauty. If it were based on how beautiful the contestants face was they would all win the top prize. Glitz pageants consider speaking ability for age, modeling ability based on age, personality, confidence and sometimes the tie breaker is how well their outfits fit them and if they are age appropriate.
The pageant I attended cost $700 to enter, and that didn't cover judging in every category. Additional categories cost extra. The outfits cost up to $1200 (some of the western wear looked even more expensive than that), and none of this is taking into account hair and makeup, airfare, hotel accomodations, pageant coaching, modeling lessons, manicures, or tanning. I mean, it just seems outrageously expensive, particularly when most of the parents I saw appeared not to have much money to start with.
I hope I answered some of your questions. Please remember this is not all there is to Pageants. Try not to judge yet you be judged.
I really, deeply appreciate your taking the time to answer our questions. I told you in my e-mail that my readers are moms and dads themselves and very unlikely to attack you personally or say things just to hurt you (and I hope my readers will honor what I've just written in their comments). I think we're all just stunned that glitz pageants are going on at all.
As my regular readers know, I'm a fairly laidback parent and not one to get (uh, seriously) up in arms about things, but now that I've seen a glitz pageant for myself, I just know in my gut that it's wrong. It's totally, undeniably
wrong. I am trying to understand your side, but for the life of me, I
can't.
