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I know you and your friends love to blather on about those awful parents who bring their
I used to be one of you, Fashionable Single Girl, and now that I'm a parent, I'm hyper-aware of your kind whenever I take my kids out to eat. I actually shush them at every outburst. I pick up the food and napkins they drop on the floor. I don't take them to restaurants where I don't think they'd be welcome and on the rare night that they can't seem to control themselves (which, I'll admit, happened one night at Bosco's back in ought-four), I leave, so that people like you can dine in peace.
I'm doing my part, Fashionable Single Girl. Now it's time for you to do yours.
Sunday night, my entire family enjoyed a rare evening out for a holiday dinner. We chose a restaurant we'd eaten in many times before on a night that we knew most of your set wouldn't be out, a restaurant where the owner loves our kids and makes a big deal out of them every time we show up. We sat at a table in the corner, out of the way of other diners.
When you bypassed seven or eight other empty tables for the one right next to ours, I didn't mind scooting Bruiser's high chair closer to our already cramped table, or asking Punky to remove her Sprite from your tabletop. I wasn't sure why you'd want to sit next to a family with four children, but whatever.
But when you startled and whipped your head around to stare at us every single time Bruiser made so much as a peep? I got annoyed. When Punky put a hand on your friend's hip for balance as she walked around to our side of the table and your friend recoiled in horror, I had to hold myself back from saying something to your table that was, well, less than kind. And when you remarked on the baby girl sitting next to you? The baby dressed in a BLUE onesie with CARS on it? I was pretty much ready to open up a can of whup ass.
You did your level best to ruin my dinner. That's right. I know it's a novel concept that you could ruin the dinner of a mom with four kids, but there you go. I've quietly listened to childless people complain about families at restaurants for too long. Now it's my turn.
Get. Over. It. Not every parent allows his or her child to act like a hellion. Treat those of us who are clearly making an effort with a little respect. Remember that you were a kid once, too (and probably a nasty, screaming, projectile vomiting one at that), and that my kids will be paying your Social Security some day when you're living in that squalid senior citizen high rise because you spent too many of your paychecks on Hermes scarves and Coach bags.
Yes, Fashionable Single Girl, I'm a Breeder now, and I'm sick of making apologies to people like you. We're here. We like to eat out. And? We're multiplying. So now I'm thinking maybe you're the one who should stay home.
Hugs,
Lindsay
61 comments:
Great post! I've often wondered at the bizarre sitting habits of people. I like to eat outside at restaurants and I always look for the table that is farthest away from any smokers. Invariably a smoker turns up and sits at the table next to me regardless of how many empty tables are near by. The same thing happens at the beach. I can only imagine I might become a screaming maniac once my child is born and I have something else to defend besides my own preferences.
Awesome post! I love it - it's perfect! As a mom to 3 I know where you're coming from!
ROFL! This is too true!
Amen! LOL
- a former FSG now a Breeder with 4 little darlings
This couldn't have been more true! I'm sorry that your Easter Dinner was ruined =(
VERY nice post! What a hilarious thing. Good for you.
Way to say it!
I have never understood the attitude that anyone on the earth hasn't got a right to be, much less be in a place.
I mean, that's really just bigotry. Why is it acceptable towards children?
Oh yes, I would bet money that they were perfect little JERKS when they were kids. The funny thing is I've seen "fashionable single girls" out in restaurants whose behavior is far worse than most children's. They get a good buzz going and just get louder and louder... Hee-hawing at each other's jokes until the people around them can barely hear each other talk!
Amen. I'm a single girl (not so fashionable) but I'm also the aunt to a 2.5 year old. We went to Watermark for my birthday. Our reservations were for 5:30, we asked to sit some where out of the way. My nephew was incredibly well behaved and received compliments from the diners around us. Still, as we were walking out, I heard some woman say, "Why would you bring a CHILD to Watermark?"
My sister and I still talk about the little girl seated next to us at a great dinner in Chicago several years ago. It was by far the nicest dinner I've ever had--choreographed service and the whole bit. We were amazed by how poised this 7 year old girl was. We complimented her parents and they told us they had been exposing her to such dinners for years. How else are kids supposed to learn how to behave?
Brilliantly said!
Fashionable Single Girl was standing next to my 4 year old, Ayren, at the shoe store the other day when Ayren couldn't hold her bursting bladder any longer and pee'd on the floor.
Take THAT Fashionable Single Girl!
You're on fire, Mama!
:)
Delurking to say:
As a waitress, I quickly learned which families brought in "cracker stompers" (children who were hellions and ignored by their parents.. leaving us to clean up after them) and which families brought in angels. Sounds like yours is a family of angels. Kids will be kids; parents need to be parents. And fashionable single girls? Usually tip badly.
Soooo true. And, I bet when you are out without the kiddos, you aren't that mean person, either!
And, as a former waitress, props to you for cleaning up. It was always a bit aggravating sweeping up crushed cheerios and picking up other things off the floor for a measly $2 tip! So, I thank you!
Aaah - but you have to remember that those FSG's (sorry, fsb's) will - one day - get theirs...
Yeah! What she said! Stoopid Fashionable Single Girl with shoes that match your purse and lipstick that matches your nails. You think my snarls are from jealousy, but it's only cause I know that stretch marks don't discriminate and your time is coming. Oh yes it is.
Good for you Lindz, you said it well. I am with you. I'm so sick of people glaring at me when I go out with my kids (who are well behaved, but even if they were not, MY MONEY IS JUST AS GOOD AS THE HATERS). It was worse when I was pregnant, I got some of the nastiest stares I've ever seen when I'd go out. Like my gestation was bothering people or something.
Did you have that happen when YOU were pregnant? I can't figure it out to save my life.
I was once a FSG....I was once a restaurant manager who dealt with FSG and old bittie's that forgot what it was like to be a child. Yes, we would try to sit families that had children together and people without kids together but on busy nights...it was impossible.
It would get under my skin when I would be called to a table because the next table is ruining their meal. Are they throwing food at you? NO. Are they screaming at the top of their lungs and the parents are letting them do it? NO. Are they using offensive language? NO. Are they kicking your seat? NO. Are they giving you dirty looks like I am sure you are? NO. THEN GET OVER IT!!!!!
Amen!! And as a former FSG and now FMM (fashionable married mom) I think that this is horrible. We never would have behaved like this toward a family - much less CHOSEN TO SIT NEXT TO ONE!!
Fortunately Toddler is a flirt with the ladies and wins over the old ladies and the FSG when we do take him out, but those girls would be in a world of hurt if they said one word to me...I just can't keep my mouth shut!!
From one Breeder to another...Amen Sister! :)
Like everyone else, I've been on both sides. Yes, I gave dirty stares to the parents of brats who threw things, kicked chairs and ran around unattended, while the parents "didn't notice."
I have taken my kids out since they were babies. They tow the line or we leave. When they were younger, yes, I packed it up to go, once or twice. I also walked them outside or in the foyer when they cried, so as not to disturb any other diners meal. (When they were that young, it was usually someplace with a decibel level higher than their cry.)
My meal has been spoiled more than once by these "Single Girls" and not so young girls too. Try having dinner with a 6 and 8 year old, while the sloshed table full of "Girls" are describing sexual encounters at the top of their lungs. Charming.
BJ explanation during dinner anyone? Talk about a knot in your stomach. No crying kid can top (bottom?) that!
Barbara
*bowing to you*
You said what I felt!! I've been tempted many a times to smack these single people. Eating out is a rare treat for me! Let me enjoy it when it happens!
All I can say to this is amen. I hate feeling guilty for taking our three children out to dinner. We try our hardest to make sure they're well behaved and we still get the occasional withering stare. Meh.
Amen.
Ohhhhh. SNAPdragon!!
Yea!!
I may just print this out, keep a copy in my purse, and deliver the next time to my table-neighbor who gives me the eye.
First, not all parents have the means or even the availability of eating out sans children. Second, my child isn't perfect...but she isn't a hellion. Third, like you said, don't sit by me.
As for cleaning up, I've been cleaning up before and all but once had the waitress stop me and say...that is my job, ma'am. Several older waitresses have said...this is nothing...and I have kids at home. And of course, we always leave a better tip in those instances. Even the one time I was allowed to clean up...awesome waitress that met our every need and even met a couple of wants we didn't know we could have!
As a (semi) fashionable single girl, even I say "AMEN!!!" to this one. I am so much more bothered by adults of varying degrees of drunkenness cursing and telling lewd stories (or loud-talking on the cell phone!!) than anything else. Sure, the obnoxious kid who kicks the booth, throws food, and screams bloody murder is annoying, but that's so rare! Frankly, I thought it was flipping awesome when we went out for dinner last night and the little girl at the next booth kept popping her head over the seat to smile at us, check out what we were eating, and just generally be adoreable.
Once again, people need to chill the heck out. A little kid chatter ruins your dinner, you got bigger troubles than a little kid chatter.
Huzzah! (though I've never been fashionable myself.. oh well).
Dear Fashionable Single Girls,
You used to be interesting, because I was dumb and thought all it took to be interesting was a snotty look of disinterest.
You used to be attractive, because I was dumb and thought all it took to be attractive was a short dress.
Your opinion used to matter, because I was dumb and thought all it took to have an important opinion was cleavage.
Now my daughter is interesting, my wife is attractive, and theirs is the only opinion that matters.
Go back to that dumb guy who falls for it all and leave my family alone.
****************
Nice job Lindsay,
Now print out a copy and slip it under every condo-above-shopping-district door.
Thank you. It needed to be said.
a~man!
Sooooo,Tell us what you REALLY think! LOL
I only have 2 kids - we go to the noisy Mexican restaurant and I let'em run like banshees so we don't have to suffer folks like fsg... The restaurant is run by a local family and they pretty much CATER to the kids. So if you're going to sit by me & my lil'hellions, you might want to have an EXTRA margarita there.
Fashionable single girl could kiss my fasionable married woman's you-know-what!!
Being single and childless, I just reckon that going out to eat in a public venue is a choice; I've had more unpleasant experiences with other ill-mannered, drunken, noisy singles, than I've ever experienced with near-by families.
Prissy, self-centered singles who go out and don't want a family to "intrude" on their evening, should seek accommodations akin to their petty desire.
Better still, they just oughta GROW THE **** UP.
Kudos, Lindsay. You said it well.
Great post.
Can you read my mind? Seriously, can you?! This post is exactly what I want to say to those girls. Grrrr! :-)
I'm attending a Vegas birthday party with some of my fashionable, single friends. You've described them so eloquently.
Great post. As a breeder, I often get seated near kids who don't behave. I tend to look at the mom and wonder if this is the first time she has been out of the house in months or if she is just ignoring them.
A lot of times, it looks like she is just pure exhausted and unable to cope any longer, I cut her some slack.
In the cases where they are just ignoring them, I tend to loudly mention to my husband, that some mother's are so lucky to develop deafness when in public, usually draws their attention to the little demons.
Mine is usually pretty well behaved, but sometimes, I would like to hide under the table.I have left before so that others can enjoy their meal.
FSG should get a grip and realize this is their future!
Amen sister! We too have gotten those look occassionally when we're out with our three VERY WELL BEHAVED boys (not because I say they are well behaved but because many, many others have said so). Thanks for putting it so succinctly!
Yay! You tell 'em!
I once had to leave a restaurant before we'd even sat down because people were glaring at our kids. They hadn't done anything... People just did not want us there. It's frustrating.
YAY Lindsay!! Great post.
And now I think I have a crush on Backpacking Dad...
I might have to give you the Perfect Post Award for this post!
LOVE IT!
I see WAY more well-behaved kids at restaurants than bad kids. (I don't have any myself). But, I know it must be hard, and usually I'm really impressed with how great a job people do. I try and give the parents a compliment if their kids are extra good, but sometimes don't have the nerve. So, I'll say it here instead, because it's possible some of those "looks" are being misinterpreted. Personally, I just enjoy watching well-behaved kids and good parenting. And if your kids are cute, I can't help but look!
What a great post! Very well said! I believe I'll be sharing a link to you with my friends! Have a wonderful day!
When I waited tables, I witnessed much worse behavior from adults than I ever did from the kids. Adults sometimes get drunk. And become obnoxious assholes. And some are just assholes without getting drunk. I'll take a shrieking baby over that any day of the week.
A-freaking-men! Like others have said, I've witnessed wayy worse behavior from adults than kids while dining out--but even still, I am always hyper-aware of my kids' behavior because I see the not-so-subtle cringing that goes on when I walk into a restaurant with my four kids. Boys, at that.
I always go out of my way to make sure my family isn't interrupting anyone else's dining experience and I expect the same respect from others.
Oh, hi, Lindsay.
Just me, mamatulip, coming to tell you how much I LOVE YOU. And this post.
That's the part I hate most about parenting, having to set a good example and be mature enough not to grab her by the hair and smash her face into the table. Great letter.
Ooh, just read Backpacking Dad's comment, love it!!
Thank you for writing that. Single fashionable girl (and restauranteurs that cringe when they see us coming) also need to know that there are some parents (Like me) that--in addition to keeping kids quiet and in their seats--make an effort to leave the table and the floor as clean as when we found it (yes, that means when they were little I bent down to wipe up ALL the dropped food etc.) *and* I left a big tip.
Sometimes, after cooking 3 meals a day for weeks on end, parents (esp at-home parents) want to have a meal out and we are sensitive to the needs of other diners so we all can have a positive dining experience.
I'm not single, but I don't have kids. If I don't want to sit next to kids at a restaurant, I won't. Simple as. But I've seen this kind of behaviour from people and it drives me insane. Some of these women just do it out of spite; I don't know why is but they're just plain rude.
Then again these women are the kind who seem to think they're above anyone else. I've worked in customer service when the exact same types, so it seems, are always THE women to be rude.
The really sad thing is that these girls who think everyone owes them a favour will eventually be the mothers of the screaming, wailing, tantruming brats that everyone DOES hate in restaurants. Betcha.
Sorry to hear it ruined your dinner.
You and your kids rock, so there :)
For those who say "your time is coming," sorry, but mine never did. Thankfully I chose not to have children, because I never wanted to be "the mother of the screaming, wailing, tantruming brats that everyone DOES hate in restaurants."
You chose to have your kids and apparently are happy with your choice, so why care what other people think?
Because as you have proven quite well, there are people out there who really, truly believe that all children are "screaming, wailing, tantruming brats that everyone DOES hate in restaurants" and their unearned dirty looks when I'm dining out with my non-screaming, non-tantruming non-brats irritate me just as much as the parents who do nothing when their children act up irritate you. That's why.
You missed my point, Suburban. I don't think all kids are brats in public, it's just a possibility I never wanted to deal with, and the "you'll get yours someday" comments that I was responding to are just silly.
I have no problem with polite and well-behaved kids in public.
I just don't see how someone looking at you funny because you're out with your kid should "ruin" your dinner. Lighten up.
Anonymous: imagine that you have a beauty mark. You love it; most people think it looks good on you. But there is a group of people that think all beauty marks are just moles, and should be removed because they are so damned ugly. You can recognize these people by the looks of disgust they give you when they see your beauty mark. Now imagine that as a courtesy to them you've covered your mark for one public appearance. And imagine that they shoot you a snotty look, even though all they can see is the bump where the beauty mark lies hidden. That would ruin my day. How about yours?
Anonymous found this post because she's a member of a bitter "child-free" forum called Selfish Heathens. If Anonymous is so put out by people who've chosen to have kids that she feels a need to join a forum to rant about them, I would say Anonymous is the one who needs to "lighten up."
You should start counting how many times you meet the evil Fashionable Single Girl. Once it hits 10, start training the kiddos for guerrilla warfare, so the flight of the potato is "not so accidental."
Make potato the new accessory.
Amen.
Ok, we the childfree will cut you a deal. If you avoid taking your wailing ill-behaved kids to restaurants that don't serve chicken nuggets and fries, we won't go to the family friendly restaurants. Otherwise, you will be served with the glare of death.
And you made several bingos, as expected. Please refrain from using those predictable clichés: http://7deadlysinners.typepad.com/sinners/2006/04/breeder_bingo_c.html
And yes, we're discussing your post on Selfish Heathens. Thanks for entertaining us.
Hate kids? Then don't act like one. You're welcome to disagree, but name calling will get ye olde delete key.
So, I get it. Because you have a brood of kids, it gives you the right to take over the restaurant, i.e, placing drinks or food on adjoining tables, letting your kids wander around the place unattended? I had no idea, thanks for letting me know. Next time I see you and your family dining out, I'll make a beeline for another dining establishment.
Cordially,
Fashionably Dressed Engaged Girl with No Kids and Proud of It!
Thanks! But if you hate children and breeders, you should probably just stay at home. Because WE'RE EVERYWHERE. And our sticky money is what keeps many restaurants in business!
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