For Local Blog
If blog years are dog years, I've been blogging now for nearly 21 of them. I figure that gives me just enough experience to write about this topic.
When I started blogging, I'd never heard of mommyblogs. I wrote for a full month or two before I found my first one, and I was instantly hooked. Mommybloggers formed my first small community of readers. They sympathized with my problems and laughed at my jokes. They nominated me for writing competitions. Their support really got me where I am today and for that and many other things, I love them dearly.
Back in 2005, advertisements were few and far between on mommy blogs. Bloggers ran Google ads for pennies a day and BlogAds made us a little more money. But that was lagniappe- an unexpected gift. We weren't blogging for the money (*snort*. What money?), we were blogging because we loved to write. We were blogging for the sense of community it gave us.
And then things changed.
PR companies started e-mailing me and sending me books and baby products and later, iPods and stereos and DVDs to review. BlogHer started an ad network, inviting mommybloggers to be its founding members. Large corporations began offering us free getaways and perks in hopes that we'd promote their new cars or their TV shows or their shampoo. At BlogHer last year, we were courted by publishers and magazines and automakers and parenting websites. Mommybloggers began turning up in major magazines, newspapers, and on television. Over the last year, I think we've really gotten a sense of our own power. We are the target demo. Hear us roar!
I love getting packages in the mail to review. I love bringing in a little extra cash from my ad revenue. I love being interviewed and feeling like my opinions matter. I love having the opportunity to go on free vacations.
But I'm realizing that all of these cool things are changing the whole nature of mommyblogging, and I worry that the sense of solidarity and revolution I felt two years ago is disappearing in a cloud of free baby powder.
Several months ago, for example, I wrote a post urging PR executives to stop deluging mommybloggers with press releases and then demanding a response, as if we'd be so happy to hear from them that we'd post their info on canned tomatoes that very day, without getting anything from the company in return. Because who wouldn't want to post a blog entry about canned tomatoes?! That post prompted at least a dozen women to e-mail me, asking me to forward those e-mails on to them, because they'd love to get press releases from big deal PR companies! And they would totally post the information on their blogs!
What. The. Hell.
I'm starting to see mommyblogs crop up whose main purpose seems to be getting in on the ad revenue/product review/stat traffic action. That's their prerogative, of course, but it makes me uneasy. It dilutes the stream of mommy bloggers who are writing to foster positive social change, or to hone their writing skills or connect with other women, or to simply talk about the fact that unlike the little cherubs we see in magazines and on television, our babies have acne and reflux and scream until we're ready to scream ourselves from the stress of it all.
Equally disturbing, the newest controversies in the mommyblogosphere aren't over cocktail playdates or whether or not to circumcise; they're over who got an invitation to a corporate mommyblogging event and who didn't, and how that corporation chose whom to invite, and whether that corporation should allow children at its event. I'm not knocking anyone in particular who wrote about this issue- Some of these women are among my favorite bloggers out there (and writing about this event doesn't change my high opinion of them)- but this became a Big Topic in the mommyblogosphere. A free trip to New Jersey. Really, people. Don't we have more important things to write about? Like Rock of Love 2, for example?
It also frustrates me that what some mommybloggers are chasing after isn't what they think it's going to be. My ad revenue is nice, but it's basically paying for our groceries for one or two weeks a month, and I have about as much traffic (and therefore as much ad revenue) as a mommyblogger could reasonably hope for. The products I get to review are fun, but they haven't changed my life. What has changed my life, what has made blogging worthwhile, is you guys. You've played a supportive and at times critical audience to my writing. You've provided cheap therapy. You've made me feel like I'm not alone. When I've visited your blogs, you've made me laugh out loud and you've made me sob. You've changed my perspective. You've made me think.
I'm proud that parent bloggers are getting noticed now by major publications and major advertisers. I think we deserve it. But I don't want it to destroy what we've built here. Is it possible to run ads without letting the advertisers run us, or the potential "fame" go to our heads? Are too many of us forgetting why we're here in the first place? Are you noticing a major shift in the dynamics of mommyblogging? I'd love to know what you think.
Monday, April 14, 2008
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102 comments:
Yay, you! Thanks for saying this. Besides, I'm not blogging for the money --- I'm blogging because I know that as a community, we'll actually be running the world by 2012! ;)
Have definitely been thinking about some of the issues you bring up. I do have to say, though, as someone who blogged about the J&J thing that my POV supports your assertion that junkets like this are affecting mommyblogging and perhaps not in a positive way. In blogging their program to reach out to mom bloggers, I was pointing out the flaws in their PR plan, NOT whining about why I was/wasn't invited. The fact that it quickly took that turn was very disturbing to me and, as you say, points to the reasons why people blog.
I'm not doing it to receive freebies and invites. If I get some perks great, but I am not going to be a puddle on the floor if I don't get to go to Disney World or didn't get the latest Mommy Lit book.
It's not about that. (For me.)
You know, I do appreciate that we bloggers (despite having a kid or two, I'm not really a mommyblogger) can make money doing what we enjoy doing.
I don't have ads on my site, I probably never will (altho I don't look down on those who do), but I do get sick of each and every blog that seems to be more about making money than about doing something fun as a hobby. I blog because I want to and I like it, not because I think I'm going to get money.
I don't know how else to describe these blogs that you're talking about, because it's weird, but you hit the nail on the head.
Thank you for saying this.
Yep, I call it "stunt blogging".
Good post.
Like you, I feel fortunate to have and I enjoy the odds and ends I get as a result of my blog.
I'm not sure it's the advertisers that are the cause of any shift out there. They are just doing a variation of what they've always done, and there are many I enjoy working with.
The shift is how people (bloggers)respond to and them and behave.
I feel a little guilty commenting so soon, since I'm not a parent. But I think what you say has ramifications beyond mommybloggers, because we're all bloggers, whether we write about our children or not. I'm not exactly sure why parents "deserve" it any more than anyone else. Parents just happen to fit into a demographic that advertisers are looking for. That's it. It has very little to do with the inherent quality of your blogs. As for the PR and corporate role in blogging, blogging has changed, but people are people. And once some bloggers get more attention than others, always getting products and freebies and junkets, there's naturally going to be some sour grapes and gossip. A "class" system is being created which is not good for the community. Blogging now seems more like a job when "real" payback is involved. I think the best approach for mommybloggers, and the blogging world in general, is thinking of the community as a whole. That means if you've gone on two or three of these vacations or conferences, give another mommyblogger a chance, and try to make it as equal a playing field as possible. That would make mommybloggers more of a community than a buzz word.
I have a somewhat related concern in that I think that blogger outreach, at least from the big consumer brands, is being equated with "can you top this" blockbuster events. While it may be fun to be invited, I am not sure this is the best way to build long term relationships. Yeah, I know it's not as sexy, but I'd rather see the companies reach out to more people with smaller programs.
my site is not "popular"...i don't get invited to things like camp baby...i make very some money from blogher ads...but i'm not quitting my day job.
i blog for other reasons. the friendships i've made. the people out there who have helped me through sleep/eating/toileting issues. because i love to write.
great post!
I'm rather new to the mommyblogging world. I haven't received any notable revenue yet (less than a dollar!), but some is better than none IMO. My main interest is writing things for The Boy and also a place to vent (i.e., therapy). I love reading other mommy’s blogs, I don’t think I’d go on trips unless they were fully paid for(!), but I would review products for revenue, but that would just be a bonus. I’m not looking to replace income, but one cart of groceries each month would be a substantial contribution at our house, and for doing something that I already love to do.
I am not really sure why I started blogging. I read a few blogs that I really enjoyed and wanted to try it. I don't think I am a writer by any stretch, but I do like having a place where I can say pretty much what I want. My husband kinda ruined that when he sent out a mass email with my blog.
I did have ads on my blog when it was with Blogger, but took them down because what was the point. I didn't make any money and I hated what was chosen to be on my blog. You need readers to make money and you need to have good content to get readers. What really makes me angry is when I go to Babycenter and there are threads asking how to make money with a blog. I tell them that it takes a lot of time, effort and writing. Even then you aren't making much. It makes it seem like a get rich quick scheme.
I think the people that are making a living off of blogs have found their niche and are good at it. And they are doing way more than just blogging.
Neil, I think I'm talking about mommybloggers in particular because it's what I know firsthand and it's truly become a mainstream media phenomenon. But I'm sure it goes beyond mommy blogs and into the blogging community at large.
Ali, you bring up another interesting point, that ADVERTISERS are making us feel "in" or "out" as bloggers, depending on which products we get asked to review (if any) and which trips we get invited to. That ain't right.
Alysia, the cart of groceries money makes a big difference to my family. That's why I run ads at all. If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't run the ads. But I wouldn't recommend starting a blog just to make that kind of advertising money, because I think when it's all said and done, I'd be making like $.25 an hour given the amount of time I've spent working on this blog since 2005. I make far more with freelance writing jobs I've gotten through this blog than I do with advertising.
Great post! I couldn't agree more. The PR releases can be relentless. I did one review post, long ago. I didn't like how it made my blog about the product. Haven't looked back. I blog for the outlet, the community, the voice I feel it gives me. Not for the money (which is probably precisely why I'm not making any!). The blogosphere has changed a lot in the past two years. Some ways, good. Others, bad.
I didn't like reviewing products on this blog, either. I started my reviews blog because I had to in order to run BlogHer ads, but I like having a separate blog for reviews much better. It keeps this one from becoming confusing.
I think it affects it in so much that folks don't understand the difference between blogs.
Most of us, except Dooce, are not making a living off of our personal blogs. We never planned to (at least I never did) and we most likely never will.
We do it for the community -- meeting other like-minded moms, for sharing my story (leaving my legacy for my kids) and for what opportunities it has brought -- new businesses that I DO make money from and writing opportunities that I DO make money from.
I think when people get into blogging just to make cash, unless you're a niche blogger (i.e. a shopping blog, a green blog, a beauty blog), you're not going to see huge revenue.
I haven't seen my favorite bloggers change their content based on the ads on their site. But I know that now that I have other businesses, I see my personal blog as just that. Yes, I do have ads, but I'm not part of a network, so I feel as though I have some control back in terms of what I can and can't write about. And the ads I run are from small businesses who might really benefit from the traffic that I have coming in.
Personally, I think when PR professionals and businesses can tweak their outreach programs and decide who they want to invite and why (I think honestly that's when things get odd -- I'd NEVER expect to get invited to a Beauty Blog Conference or a Political Blog Conference or honestly, even a Mom Blog Conference), then it will make a bit more sense when people don't get invites.
It's all about good blogger outreach.
AMEN. I am so glad you wrote this because it's been on my mind a lot. Possibly because I'm trying to make myself feel better for not getting invited to the cool parties (grin) but also because for me? It just is all small in comparison to the support group I've found in my blogging community. I've found friends. Friends who I call/email/notify with news before my FAMILY gets to know. That's a huge prize. Thanks for reminding us of that.
everything you said. I've been loathe to complain, because I am all in favor of extra grocery or a free game for the kids, but I've hated seeing good blogs turn into the most banal catalog copy.
As a very new mommyblogger (I have to just come right out and admit that I'm a mommyblogger, no matter the facial hair and dangly bits I have, because my readers are 95% moms) I've put off running ads on the site.
I see the BlogHer ads and Google adsense banners and perhaps because I read people who tend to have the same sense of humour as me I end up seeing the same ads over and over again. It makes a lot of the blogs look the same.
Also, I've tried signing up with BlogHer and they just won't take me. Dangly bits, possibly. Although then I wonder how some other danglybitsbloggers have BlogHer ads.
I should restate: I do have one ad on my site. But it's a link to a book, and I'm pretty sure I don't make any money off it no matter how many times it gets clicked. And it's an ad that I was able to pick myself, so it's more me showing support than being part of the machine.
I did get asked to do a website review. I told the person I would be happy to look at the site, but that my blog wasn't really about reviewing things. I just like to tell stories.
And I was contacted by a representative from NHK Japanese Television who was looking to interview Stay At Home Dads. But not me. Someone in New York. He hoped I knew someone.
Maybe I'll run adds someday. But not until I would make more than I would burn in gas to cash the check.
Hooray for mommybloggers, with or without dangly bits. Talking is the point.
AMEN SISTER!!! I am so tired of hearing about people who are mad/pissed/offended because they didn't get invited to XYZ.
I don't blog for the money, I don't blog for fame, I blog for the outlet - and the support of the "friends" that I have made. That alone is worth more than anything to me. That sense of "other people understand, think what I am going through is mildy entertaining, and go through the same things."
Being connected to the rest of the mommies in the world is enough for me. And I do have google ads on my blog, but have yet to see a penny from them...so they aren't such a hot money maker are they?
I am new to the blogging world and I do it for relaxation. I don't plan on having ads on my blog but I can understand why some people have them.
I don't have ads, because I don't like clutter, and I'm afraid it would make my site look clutter-y. Also, I don't like those Google Ads that pick ads for you based on content - I'm afraid what my site would be, boiled down to a few phrases. Is it about cancer? Diapers? Who knows.
I heart your blog - and with your large readership, you totally should get some $$ out of it. It seems fair - we expect high-quality, frequent content, you should get something back for your time.
I would LOVE to get free stuff - I especially love free stuff for my kids, or stuff that gets me away from my kids. I'm not willing to go searching far for it, though. So, I don't get it. And life goes on. I did win a pair of tennis shoes, once, on a blog contest!
Besides - with my blog? I figure I'm saving a FORTUNE in therapy costs!
What an excellent post on something that I think has been on a lot of minds lately. Very well stated!
Thanks for writing this! I started blogging to reconnect with family who seemed to have gotten lost along the way. But my blog too has turned into a connection with a wider community. I find that there are a lot of blogs out there out to make money, and good for them for trying, but it's nice to be able to connect to others in my boat, or to read about others who lead different kinds of lives who are writing for the sake of writing!
For me, blogging has always been about writing--and reading other people's blogs. The community came as a happy surprise.
BlogHer07 was pretty frenetic with all the talk of "monetizing" (God, how I hate that word) one's blog. The best part was meeting other bloggers. I even met you!
I think with the invention of any new medium--the internet itself, for example--there's always an early period where anything seems possible. Then commercial interests enter into the picture and things start to change, to settle down as people come up with notions of what the new medium is for.
It's sort of like the Wild West getting civilized.
(I mean, remember when no one was sure what websites were for? And remember the outcry when commercial interests started producing websites, and the web was no longer the private playground of a bunch of basement boys?)
The beauty of blogging is that it's self-publishing. It's so easy to get caught up in the whole Camp Mommyblogger thing and forget that we're publishing our writing, for free, from the comfort of our homes.
Sure, corporations will court us. And we can run ads or not run ads--as long as Blogger is free, these companies can't stop us from going where our fancies lead us.
Thank you! Great post. I'm a lurker...now a commenter. Relatively new to blogging (a few months), I've already experienced so many emotions I never saw coming when I first decided to start a blog. I initially thought "what a great way to force myself to write (a stop and start lifelong dream) and make $$." I quickly realized making money was not a short term goal and that the writing was the satisfying part. But I couldn't help feel like the unpopular girl at school when I saw other bloggers giving each other writing awards, listing others on their blogrolls, talking about gatherings and conferences they attended or planned to attend. Not to mention site widgets illustrating large reader numbers! I'm working on pushing through the writer's block and insecurity, training myself to focus on what my blog is about and why I'm writing it. I thank you for your post today because it helped me realize that I'm on the right track and to pay less attention to those other noisy distractions.
@backpacking dad -
Also, I've tried signing up with BlogHer and they just won't take me. Dangly bits, possibly. Although then I wonder how some other danglybitsbloggers have BlogHer ads.
We have no record of receiving an application from you - if you are interested in BlogHerAds, feel free to contact me directly. jenny at blogher dot com
I agree! In a way it is great because people are putting out great blogs (and by that I mean: interesting to me with laughs as well as useful and insightful information) and why shouldn't they benefit a little monetarily? Some groceries is no small deal. But of course it is not your only reason for blogging. I would hate to see obsure ads taking over half the screen!
I love reading mommyblogs because it is like a glimpse into another mom's world for a minute. Someone you do not know but could be friends with under other circumstances. Or friends you could make because they are all just a click away.
This was awesome.
I am too dumbfounded and my brain is whirring to hard to even come up with a decent response.
Well done.
I think that when you blog you find your own level and community.
I'm not aware of huge revenue possibilities out there for bloggers - but then maybe I'm not reading the right blogs. And that would probably be because - with a few notable exceptions, Lindsay - those that are heavy on the promotions and the advertising are not the ones that speak to me.
I've gone from knowing nothing about blogging last summer, to getting interested via one amazing blog (check out Pig in the Kitchen), and finally to setting up my own and tapping into a network of like-minded bloggers.
Blogging gives me the chance to write, to connect with other mums struggling to keep a sense of proportion, and to record some of the memories from what will be too short a time at home with my boys.
Making money from it too seems rather like over-egging the pudding...
@Jenny: I don't know how you managed it, but I was finally able to log-in to BlogHer while I was in the middle of drafting an e-mail to you. Hooray!
And to clarify, I was always kidding about the dangly bits getting in the way of my BlogHer status. I love BlogHer and I know they love everyone, no matter what bits they have.
BD- Do not invoke the wrath of BlogHer. She's called Lisa "Stone" for a reason.
I personally shut my blog down to become a private diary b/c of this. I was getting hung up on "What if I don't get invited..." I had enough of that in Jr. High. I write for me and for my kids to have a record of my thoughts. That's it. The rest was gravy, but not worth the price of my self-worth.
So glad you wrote this.
You know how I feel from your phone conversation - My issue is the damn whining. Whine about your dog, your kids, your job, motherhood, fatherhood, the mailman...but can we not whine about who's not invited where and who's not on what list???...whaaaaaaa! And leave it off twitter too.
I can't help it but as soon as I read something like that, I get a bad sense of the person. It's not sexy and it smells like feet.
I haven't really noticed a change, but then, I often don't notice fairly obvious things so that doesn't really mean anything. I'm sad to think that this is a problem for mommyblogs out there.
I'm starting to get into the whole product review thing myself but for me it's definitely for fun. I don't harbor any notions of fame and fortune. I'm pretty happy with my blog the way it is. I love my readers and I love having the outlet to vent whatever is on my mind.
Perks are just that. Icing. A nice little bonus. Take away those and all you have left is the blog and the community. And me? I'm more than okay with that.
You guys are all bringing up really good points. And this post kind of developed when I talked to Kimberly last week. Tell it like it is, girl!
I think it's normal to feel down when your blog friends get invited to something or get to review something and you don't. It's happened to me. But we can't let some big corporation determine our happiness in blogging. We just can't. That's not why we're doing it, and if it is, it shouldn't be. And if we want to vent publicly, I tend to think we should stop ourselves, because it's giving these PR firms and corporations more power over mommybloggers than they deserve.
I feel somewhat 'lucky' to escape all this, because where I live - in a different country - many people don't even know what blog is yet. So blogs attract barely any attention from advertisers at all (though that is changing - if you go by the contacts I'm getting from PR companies etc.)
So, in my case, that leaves me free to just do what I've always done. Phew!
I think that it's totally possible to not let ads run us - my personal blog is sacrosanct: no reviews unless they're *personal* (as in, something I found and love, a friend's book, that kind of thing) and I pretty much avoid online discussions about ads/marketing, etc, because I just don't get all that worked up about it (unless it's funny. Then, it's good fodder.)
I think the ads/marketing debates are just another variation on the blog politics (popularity, inclusion/exclusion) that ALWAYS come up. And if someone turns their blog completely over to the Man, well, that's their business, literally and figuratively, and I'll probably not read it, but... whatever.
Good questions, lady. You smart.
I have to say that I totally understand why other "mommybloggers" are upset. They feel like their blog has better content or they are funnier than the next person and to not be chosen to go on a trip is like a slap in the face to them.
I have been blogging for 2 years now but just recently put blogher ads on my blog. And I did it to make money, yes. But more importantly I want the traffic. I love to write and would love to have people read it. Sadly, I'm not getting much more traffic than before.
There are a lot of us out there that want to have "popular" blogs. To be the next 'Dooce', so to speak, but not necessarily for the money. I think it's more about name recognition than anything else.
I wouldn't say major, for the most part. It crops up now and then, but it is a minor skirmish, at best. What I HAVE noticed is that bloggers who get paid gigs start neglecting their own blogs or using them to promote the paid work, and their own blogs suffer for it. I always regret that, even though I am happy for the blogger, and in a few cases, I've stopped reading when it's gone too far down the tubes.
hbm, good point. Before the "ad wars," there was much more bitchery over blog competitions. It's funny, because Kim and I started the Perfect Post Awards as a response to that, so that bloggers could award other bloggers and spread the love around a little more than the big competitions allowed. And still, from time to time, we read someone whining about never winning a Perfect Post Award- and it just kills us.
kittenpie, you make a really good point, too, and that was one of my biggest fears doing the Parents.com gig- that this blog would suffer. But as it turns out, the biggest factor in making this blog suffer is BRUISER. :D
I blog (not often enough) because I like to write and I like to read other blogs (mommy and others). I don't receive much traffic nor do I hear from advertisers or anything like that. Doesn't bother me, that would just mean that I would have to make it more like a job than a fun thing to do.
I consider myself a blogger virgin...as I have only been doing it a year. However...it has evolved as the audience has grown. I recently accepted a Blogher agreement and I am VERY excited about it. I think I started out just using my blog as a place to record my son--in place of a baby book...now it is my safe haven and keeps me sane. It also is a place for me to BE REAL. I am grateful that people actually like it.
After reading this post I wonder how my blogging life will evolve...how things will change...and if I will ever be invited to a blog convention :-)
Cheers!
Aimee
Wunst agin, th' single dude what ain't got a dawg in this hyar fit, has sumpin' ta say: I've only visited your blog now for a couple-three months. I don't care what your original motivations were or remain: you write a great, funny, insightful blog.
For those who take the wrong approach or the wrong motivations to their 'mommyblogs' -- search of the gold ring thang -- more power to 'em. Few will actually achieve, let alone sustain it. But to those who do, if that's where they wanna be, enjoy.
You just keep doin' what you do, Lindsay. If it works for you and yours, nothing else matters.
*soapbox collapsed under weight of email scam offers*
It certainly has changed since I started in late 2004. I took a long break right when the PR phenomenon was starting to blow up and I have never attended blogher or any other conference so I've missed out on the big invites and the big ticket items for review and to give away. Sometimes I feel out of the loop with all of this.
And I'm excited to be a part of the BlogHer ad network now, but I don't get much from it. I usualy only get a check every other month and it's a small amount of madmoney just for me to splurge with. Buy a new pair of jeans. Or something.
I don't blog for any of that. Would I like to be included? Sure. But I'm not actively pursuing it and I'm not willing to compromise my beliefs or what my blog is about to get in on the big action. I'll stick to the occasional book or toy review if it's something I like. I've received some books in the mail that I never featured because, frankly, they sucked.
Meanwhile, my blog is about me--not making money.
I'm very new to blogging (4 months), but in my wanderings through the blogosphere I've picked up on what you're talking about.
We actually discussed this last week at the San Diego/Bossy get-together.
I started blogging for the writing and capturing a snapshot of my life for posterity, but the community is what makes this the experience it is. I hope it doesn't change.
I agree with Busy Mom. (As always.)
I hate to see some authenticity go away in favor of freebies and marketing. I guess that's why I stay out of blog contests and keywords and tags and happy wednesdays and f*ck me fridays or whatever, and all those other traffic building things. I want to make sure I'm focused on my writing and not link building. But you know, not everyone is. That's ok.
Just need to point out though:
The more things change the more they stay the same. When I first started blogging, there were these women Heather, Alice, Melissa and Eden...or something like that...who went to Amsterdam on someone else's dime to blog.
Thanks for giving me more to think about... I have pondered ads but never opened myself up because my blog is my therapy.
Blogging makes me grateful and happy -- I'd heard ads didn't pay much so I never bothered. Granted, I don't get the major traffic. My blog is a happy little place where I can vent and celebrate. This is enough for me. Thanks for making me appreciate my little spot on the D-list!
I started blogging because I was bored and needed an outlet for my brain to decompress every day. Sad but true. And now, well it's the same. I'd like to say it's because I have a purist attitude about blogging that I don't have advertising now, but really it's only because I haven't been asked by anybody that I'd be interested in working with to advertise on my blog. Not to say that I wouldn't advertise if the right advertiser contacted me to say...drive across the US to visit other bloggers, I wouldn't do it. I would totally pimp myself out. (Go Bossy!) Because you know what I think? A good writer, is a good writer, is a good writer. And a good writer could write about almost anything. And if a Mommyblogger is a good writer and wants to advertise, and talks about her clients in her blog, and then write about the free trips she gets from these clients, then that's cool with me. I don't care. Just write well. Keep me entertained. And everyone else? Who cares.
Yay! Thank you for saying what you did! I was beginning to think my blogging was a waste of time because I don't get hundreds of hits a day (or even a few for that matter), and I just felt like it was turning into a popularity contest (what does your cluster map look like - how many comments do you have), but then realized that I'm blogging for me, and okay, my parents! =)
It seems that there is a desire among many mommybloggers to be the next Kelly Ripa -- the mom who, by merely mentioning some product in an off-hand way, spurs a huge rush on the market. (As I recall this happened a couple years ago with some self-tanning lotion she mentioned on Regis & Kelly.)
There also seems to be a growing focus on STUFF. Everyone wants to get more stuff, write about more stuff, point out the neatest stuff, demonstrate their awesome taste in stuff, etc.
Although I started out as a review blogger (without really even knowing there was such a thing as a review blog), I was focused mainly on kids' music and media. I wrote about the things we encountered on our own. But soon, the agents found me and I started getting piles of STUFF -- CDs, DVDs, books. That made blogging so much harder, and it eventually drove me away from writing about music and media the way I used to.
During that same time, I was interviewed by several major newspapers and hired to write some paid pieces. Suddenly, I was An Expert. I was credible and important and people outside of Blog-land cared about what I wrote. That was very exciting, and something I wish I had capitalized on more at the time.
Since then I've moved away from reviews, although I still do them occasionally when I come across a GREAT album. And my blog has ads. So I can't throw too many stones. But I do think there are some negative trends developing here. Thanks for starting this discussion.
I've been blogging for 5 years and I have noticed the same issues as many of your commentors. I totally agree with BusyMom and Kittenpie, and with Neil as well. Oh and Kimberly and the whining. Oh the whining.
But something that wasn't brought up with the sense of ENTITLEMENT that some of the "big" bloggers feel they deserve. I was astounded by some of the posts about the J&J baby camp, not by the people that didn't get invited, but by those that did and thought that the world revolves around their schedules and their children and their wants and desires. It was ridiculous and it was embarrassing. Blogging does not equal being treated like you're special, especially when you're dealing with a large corporation. And the fact that people were incensed that the huge corporation wouldn't accommodate their needs... oh please. Get off your high cloud and act like a human being. You're NOT special. You're a freaking blogger. No more, no less. And I don't care if you have a marketing background or were the CEO of a major corporation in your past. You're a blogger now.
The other thing that I think tears down community is the constant planning posts. If people just kept their freaking mouths shut about where they are going and what they are packing and when they got their manicures and haircuts... much of the angst about these junkets would disappear.
My family was just invited to something next month. I don't plan on blogging about any of the preparations for the trip, nor about what I plan to wear, or how I plan to shop for new clothing, etc. I'll post about the experience after we return home. Period. That's all anyone should do. I don't want to make people upset or angry or jealous or whatever. My responsibility is to the corporation that is paying for our trip, and my obligation is to be a good blogging citizen and not get people pissed off or angry. Any discussion of the event with other invitees has been totally behind the scenes, as it should be.
The idea that there are tiers of bloggers, with a certain few blogs on the top of the heap is changing. Some of those blogs suck so badly now that it's a wonder they have any readers at all. I think people go out of habit and new bloggers find them as older ones get fed up with the constant "I'm over here today" self-advertising.
OTOH, some of the newest and most popular bloggers like Pioneer Woman and Rocks in My Dryer and Bossy keep pumping out fresh, interesting, exciting content day after day. They can do the contests and the stunt blogging, and it's still excellent blogging, good writing, fresh content. But that's untrue of many of the older, more established blogs. I think there is a definite shift to better content, and hopefully those "top tier" bloggers that really aren't offering anything in the way of content will slowly disappear from the top tier. Which is what I like best about blogging. There is always room for someone new to come along and entrance her readers. Thank God for that!
I am not a blogger. I do, however, read a number of "mommyblogs." I really couldn't believe how juvenile some of the J&J-related posts got. ("I didn't get invited!" "I can't bring my baby!" "They sent me several confused emails!" "How dare they!") It really seemed to demonstrate a sense of entitlement that seems way out of proportion -- it's *blogging*, people. I enjoy the writing (when it is good) (oddly enough, the complaining-est bloggers about the J&J issue were not among those I think write the best) and reading about what other moms are experiencing. But this isn't a sorority or rocket science. Get over yourselves.
the traffic and getting noticed is all very nice but that isn't why i started blogging nearly 4 years ago.
i confess i find the ads somewhat distracting, rarely click on them and like another poster, find they make some blogs look the same but that isn't why i don't carry ads. ultimately, my blog is my thoughts and my view even if they are blander, less humorous and significantly less profane than the top mommy blogs. the traffic i do receive suggests that someone out there finds it a wee bit interesting or at least something they can point and laugh at and give thanks that it isn't them.
great point of view! thanks for putting it out there.
As someone who's read you from the beginning, I know it's always been about the writing and about the community for you. I love that about you and your blog.
I've had my blog for 4 years, and took a long break when my son was diagnosed with autism. Looking back, I almost wish I had not taken the break. I had such profoundly difficult times back then, with my kids and with my own depression. It would have been such a help to have this free therapy, this community to support me.
Since I've been back into blogging for the last 8 months or so--yes there's a definite change from how it was a couple years ago. Definitely a lot more money and commercial interests involved, but that's not necessarily always bad as long as the blogger handles it in the right way. Ads, reviews, "come find me over here" and such, are not inherently bad. Why should you not let us know if you're writing somewhere else? More of you for us to read, and that's a good thing.
My blog has organically grown to become my portfolio, as well as my community. I found my "tribe" of ladies who live locally, through blogging. I've gotten a couple paid writing gigs through my blog as well. I just recently put up BlogHer ads a couple weeks ago, mainly for the exposure and the networking. I've been amazed at the hugeness this mom-blogging has grown into, and I think if we can focus on the good we will see there is a lot of it. The good, that is.
Also, I must not read the same bloggers, because I didn't see a lot of whining about not being invited to trips. Hopefully you know that there are a ton of bloggers out there doing it right, not complaining or whining, and keeping the community a balanced place.
On the one hand I think it's great that so many mothers are earning income from their blogs. It is an economic confirmation of their talent and their worth, the value of their of voice and their importance in the grand scheme of things. These things are often overlooked when women are stay-at-home-moms.
That said, I enjoy my small time blogs more. I am a small time blog and I started blogging to keep my family oversees updated on my life and my son's growth. I then learned about the blogging community, but I have no intention to grow my blog. I already have a job I love. If my blog becomes my job it will change irrevocably and I do not want that to happen.
When the ad revenue starts coming in, I think the tone of the blog changes. Some of the content shifts to corporate sites. There are links to "an article I wrote on this other big fancy site". It's not as real anymore.
I was very friendly with one woman in particular who "made it" and now she is only friends with other famous blogging women. I am genuinely happy for her and I still love her blog. It is one of the best mommyblogs out there in my opinion, and as much as I know that things change, nothing ever stays the same, I miss the way it used to be.
Ok, I have "looked" at quite a few mommy blogs and there are quite a few that I like. Yours is really the one that I keep up with, and I have no issue with you making any money from it. Mostly, because you "keep it real"!!! I love that you are not afraid to write about poop and the gym mom. Crazy things that we all go through....Your craziness makes me feel a bit less crazy sometimes. Keep up the GREAT WORK
Great post, Lindsay. This is what I love about subscribing to feeds. I add/remove at will and feel no obligation to keep up with those who get into all that... I feel like I stay on the periphery mostly, on purpose. I don't want to be part of the PR hype! It's a little off-putting when that becomes a driving force for some... There are blogs I've taken off my reader for just that reason.
I definitely don't blog for money (like so many people have said, very few bloggers actually make a true livable salary from blogging). I have ads on my blog sidebar from the Real Girls Media network and I will post occasional book or product reviews on my site, but I try to be pretty picky about the products I choose to blog about. That said, first and foremost I started blogging as a creative writing outlet and to connect with other moms from across the country. If I make a little "lunch money" on the side, that's a nice little perq, but I don't let the ads on my sidebar dictate what I write. I have actually considered starting a separate site for reviews, although because I'm not in the BlogHer ad network it's not a requirement. I think too many ads/reviews/blatant product placement turn people off. I know they turn me off. If I want products waved in my face, I'll just turn on TV. ;)
Here's an interesting take. What if PR/advertisers completely ignored the blogosphere? Well, that would be criticized, too. I think it's actually a positive thing that they are tuning into bloggers, because it validates the fact that blogging is an important social medium, especially for moms. Now it's up to individual bloggers to decide if they are selling out to "the man" by blogging about and for rolls of paper towels. I think it's all about balance and staying true to what motivates you to join in on the blogging community in the first place. I actually think it's very savvy of companies such as J&J (which markets so many mom/baby products) to tune into what moms are saying on the Web.
It's all about balance and being true to yourself as a writer.
Great post!
Shoot. Invite to whatever, whereever. I most likely be able to go because my real job takes up all of my time along with sucking the marrow from my bones, but please do invite me.
I am all about the stuff.
Namaste.
Blogging was never about money. Nor was it about displaying my writing talents and hoping they'd lead to something else because the fact is I'm by no means a writer. Just a woman and a mom that enjoys the outlet. I've met some incredible people that ,while I've never met them in real life can honestly call friends. That to me, is what blogging is all about. Sure schwag and products are nice but even then I'm selective about what I'll review and generally if I've agreed to review it I'm holding a giveaway for said product too. That way some readers really benefit. That's about as commercial as I'll ever get.
Insightful post.
Great post - I've just started blogging and can't imagine doing it for money at this point. I'm just enjoying the community.
I'll be honest - would I like to make money from blogging? Sure I would because then I could stay home with my kids. But it isn't my reason for blogging.
I started blogging 5 or so years ago when I was feeling very lonely and isolated and it gave me the means to connect with people. It has also helped my writing (I think) and that is an infinitely valuable skill.
If anything - I think the new wave of mommybloggers that are doing it solely for the income - will hurt the entire community. But I also think they're pretty transparent in their writings.
Great post. I'm a mommyblogger and a PR professional, so I see both sides of this coin. I blog because I think I'm funny and I think I have something to say. If someone reads it great. If they don't like it, fine. Argue back.
As a PR Pro, I counsel my clients to build relationships with their audiences by having a great pitch backed up by an outstanding product. I also counsel them to put their messages where their audiences are. Could that include reaching out to prominent voices on the blogosphere? Yes. Randomly sending out product samples and nagging bloggers to give them a positive review? No. I don't advocate for it for "traditional media" and I don't advocate for it for bloggers.
Please accept my personal apologies for my well-intended, but somewhat misguided colleagues who lost sight on the fact that PR and the blogosphere have an important connection - a focus on relationships.
A friend of mine just pointed out your post, and I'm glad I hopped over. The comments are as interesting as the post!
I run ads, have a review blog, blah, blah, blah. I started blogging to write, and it's sad to me that more people to list this as one of their top interests in blogging. I've found a community of parents (and nonparents), but also a community of prolific and talented writers, and that's what keeps me doing it.
One nice thing about ad networks like BlogHer and review networks like Parent Bloggers Network is that the widgets or ads feature rotating headlines, which helps me both get more readers for myself and find other interesting posts when I'm buried and only have time to read a few things a day. Ad networks build exposure as they do pay you a few pennies, and I think we should recognize them for that value when we talk about them.
If you're a writer, you want people to read your words. Let's be honest. Otherwise we wouldn't self-publish. Anything ethical that attracts readers is attractive to me, which is why I do the reviews, I tag the posts, I use the keywords. I try not to whore out my blog, and I keep Surrender, Dorothy clean of anything I don't believe in personally (you can find my reviews at my review blog), but absolutely I love boosts to my readership. It means my words have been heard -- and that's all I wanted out of this blogging thing. I wanted to be heard.
This problem will cure itself. If I read a blog and can discern that it's sole purpose is ad revenue or promotion of products, I'm outta there. Permanently.
I think most mommybloggers write and read for a sense of community and entertainment. If there is revenue in that, great. But ultimately having a blog that reads well and appeals is critical to hits (clicks?) and will be self regulating.
I've been ad free for the past seven years -- egads! -- of blogging.
That's because I've always wanted to promote "Brand Helen Jane" through my blog and not dilute it with branding from other companies -- but maybe I'm too anal.
Lindsay, do you think ads will take away from "Brand Suburban Turmoil" down the road? Or do they add to it?
Or is it just sweet-to-have income in the meantime?
(Grin, cause I could certainly stand for that.)
Huh, just read this tonight, which I think sums up many of our thoughts quite nicely:
"At a seminar at the local library, someone asked, "how do I make a lot of money blogging?"
My guess is that at last week's seminar, the one on growing orchids, no one raised his hand and said, "how do I make a lot of money growing orchids?"
Sure, people make money growing orchids. Some people probably get rich growing orchids. Not many though. And my guess is that the people who do make money gardening probably didn't set out to do so.
Blogging is much the same way. The best bloggers make money, but mostly as a side effect, not as a direct result of setting out to use a blog to make a profit. It's just too long a ramp up time, too frustrating and too uncertain to be the best path to make a living.
If it makes you happy (and your readers happy) it's a great place to start. Step by step you get better at it, and then you discover the ancillary benefits. But the benefits kick in best when you don't set out to achieve them."
Once upon a time, I found a blogger named Suburban Turmoil who made me tear up AND laugh when she described her life as a step-mom (which I am) and her experiences living in a community who knew the first wife (which I also am). And, lo, I developed a life-long blog crush, I linked her and I invited her to join the little group of brave bloggers who helped found the BlogHer Ad Network in 2006.
Whither advertising anyway? We started BlogHer's ad network at the request of a few members of our community back in 2006. Our goal has always been to add "economic empowerment" to the rest of BlogHer's mission -- to create opportunities for women (and our friends, natch, BD ;) to gain additional exposure, education and community for our blogs. More here. I agree with Michelle above, when she writes that she supports advertising as an option for blogs she enjoys: "It seems fair - we expect high-quality, frequent content, you should get something back for your time." Amen.
Like anything worth publishing, however, excellent writing and community must come first -- the advertising follows. That's how it is with quality writing. And for folks who prefer not to run ads, it's wonderful that the Internets don't require ads on free blogs.
While I know many people think BlogHer is hopelessly old-fashioned with our editorial guidelines that ask review blogs to be separate, we find that this policy checks an important box for readers and with top-tier advertisers. There's a great role for reviews, too, as excellent review blogs like Lindsay's shows.
Now, back to PunditMom's world-domination theory: I'm all for it. Who's in?
P.S. Prescott, a virtual orchid to you. What a great point.
I clicked over from Miss Zoot and this entry couldn't have come at a better time for me. I just jumped into this whole mommyblogging thing YESTERDAY. I did it for all of the former reasons you mention and none of the latter. I just want a way to get my thoughts and feelings out there, even if NO ONE reads them. I have loved the idea of a community of people writing about the things they have in common and I am so excited to become a part of that. Canned tomatoes and free trips to New Jersey or not.
Well mims, welcome to mommyblogging! Don't let the PR interns get you down! ;)
helenjane, personally, the ads have added some important income to my family. There are six of us here living on one income. We've had lots of medical bills the last two years, my oldest needed a car, both girls will go to college fairly soon- any way I can contribute financially, I do.
If I didn't need the money, I wouldn't have advertising. I don't really like the way they "compete" for attention with my content. I do think the ads in my sidebar are as tasteful as it gets, though, as far as ads go. BlogHer also lets me opt out of video ads (which I've done) and ads in between copy (which I've done). And I try to remember that it's no different from a magazine running ads beside its copy- nothing so unusual about that. But yes, I dream of the day when I'm fabulously wealthy and have no need for ads on my blog. :)
Prescott, I agree with you 100%.
And Lisa was at the helm of making advertising on mommyblogs a revolutionary act! Seriously, when she started BlogHer Ads, she contacted each of us personally and made us feel like we were important- none of the other ad networks were doing that. How times have changed! I'll be interested to see where all this leads.
I started blogging to vent. I still use it as my therapy.
I tried to sign up for BlogHer ads and at the time they were not accepting new request for ads, I did sign up for BlogHer anyway. I ended up with google ads, I figure in ten years or so they will send me my hundred bucks, heh!
I figured I do it and I enjoy it, if it will bring in a little extra cash, GREAT. So far, no money, but I am still posting most everyday. I never thought or expected to make money at blogging. I have gotten a little more traffic lately and I love it. And the comments, I am addicted to getting them.
If you can make money at it, great. But I really believe a personal blog should be just that, your personal blog. If you want to review and such, get another blog and link to it. But that's just how I feel.
Lindsay, I've mulled over this post for a few days. I’ve noticed how blogs (mommy et al.) have been changing lately, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on how. Fortunately, I just read a statement in MediaShift by Mark Glaser that sums up the state of blogging pretty accurately:
"Paying a blogger or journalist based on page views puts the onus on the writer to get traffic and takes away from their main job of research and writing. There's only one result of paying writers by page view: They will pander, sensationalize, and go for short-term gain over long-term value. And it does damage the site's reputation."
He was talking about media blogs, but this statement applies to any type of blog. The thing is, not every blogger panders - fabulous websites exist with advertising seamlessly integrated. Take Dooce, for example. She generates more capital from her blog than any of us could ever dream about, but I never feel like I’m being sold to when I read her.
I’m all for people making money off their effort – if they can get paid doing what they love, good for them! However, there are plenty of sites I stopped visiting because it’s obvious the blogger is posting due to the desire to continue the steady flow of traffic and revenue, and not because she (or he) created something she’s inspired to share.
Building a community – the whole reason blogs exploded - seems less and less important and quantity is starting to trump quality. Many people blog because they want to write professionally, but the danger is if they don’t bring their A-game to every post, they diminish their chances. (Agents DO read blogs to find new talent, and they aren’t going to tap someone who’s just calling it in.)
As for me, I don’t host ads. Never have, partially because of the above, partially because of aesthetics, and partially because I’m too lazy to manage the process. But to say I'm writing out of simple altruism isn’t true. My blog helps me market my books. Yet it also exists because I enjoy interacting with the people who’ve so graciously allowed me to have a career. In regard to gifts/trips/perks, I don't take free stuff. Having once been in the PR world, I sympathize with the flacks and I’d feel obligated to promote the free product regardless of whether or not I liked it, and that’s not fair to my readers.
I guess my point is it’s OK to reap the benefits that come from having a blog – just be careful not to lose your audience, your sense of community, and your credibility over a free keychain and a sub-par case of apple juice.
I've been writing online for so long (2003) that I still think of it as "journalling" instead of blogging. Since then I've dealt with infertility and become a mom, and am about to have my second kid, so I guess that now makes me a "mommyblogger"?
I started writing to actually make myself write (hard to think of oneself as a writer when one does not write, eh?), but the two main reasons I keep writing are to have a record of these days for my kids, particularly if anything ever happened to me, and... hmm, how do I put this... in reciprocation for the sense of community I get from reading and commenting on other people's blogs.
What I've observed since 2003 is the proliferation of blogging, to the point that everyone seems to be categorized these days. When I was at BlogHer last summer I kept getting asked what "kind" of blog I wrote. I went because I thought it would be neat to meet other people with online journals, but I was astounded at the commercial focus and all the corporate courting from both sides that was going on there.
I guess I was naive. I mean, I knew that there were a few people making money from blogging (and more power to 'em, as far as I'm concerned); I just didn't know how many people do or want to, or how many companies want to get their feet in the door with bloggers.
I love that you wrote this! I am not nearly as popular/well trafficked as you are, and I started writing only to connect with other people and because I was bored out of my skull after surgery. I do have some ads, but they don't pay for anything other than maybe lunch once a month or so. I haven't been invited to any of those fancy things and I'm not sure I would even go so I am not jealous or anything but I do feel badly for the people who DO want to go and don't get invited. Anyway, I love all your thoughts on all of this, including Rock of Love. I guiltily admit I watched it and rooted for the girl who won.
Very well put, Ms. Jennsylvania. I heartily second everything you wrote.
Your comments are all very illuminating, everyone. I love reading all your different perspectives.
I started by blog 2 years ago to put into words an amazing experience that I had helping people in Louisiana after Hurricane Katrina. I rediscovered my love of writing, and found that there were actually people, people I didn't even know, who enjoyed reading it. That was payment enough.
This year, I have starting getting pitches from PR people and started a review blog. Getting free stuff is fun, but it's not the reason I blog. I went to Camp Baby, and met some wonderful women there. Some I hadn't read before, some I admired for a very long time. It didn't make me feel as though I had "arrived," it made me realize how lucky I am to be a part of this community, as reader and writer.
Recently, I got caught in a media frenzy and was being pulled in a number of directions. The people I relied on for advice and support, the ones I knew had my back no matter the outcome, were mombloggers. You can't put a price on that, no matter how you look at it.
@Mom101 - just wanted to let you know that this "I guess that's why I stay out of blog contests and keywords and tags and happy wednesdays and f*ck me fridays or whatever" made my LOL and spit out my coffee.
We started our review blog ad free, but definitely added them several months in. I will say that while it is sad sometimes to see people starting blogs for the wrong reasons (free stuff, etc), it's usually pretty obvious to everyone. These are the bloggers who have hotlinked our photos and banners, and have taken our content, changed a few words, and called it their own.
I think you really have to do this because you love it - that's why so many blogs start out strong and then stop being updated.
I ran ads, and then pulled them. I've been blogging for a few years, but now I'm taking a break. It seems like blogging is increasingly about profit and popularity, and less about quality writing and connecting with people. Because blogging is a community it's hard to filter out all the BS and hone in on the good stuff.
Yes, I was just discussing this with someone else.
It's making me sick, the consumerism, the advertising. It's making me dump people left and right. I want to read about peoples lives and interact with them, not read about the latest product and become a just customer (or a stat-hit) to them.
There is definitely a shift in mommyblogging. But I don't think that every single mommyblogger is out for the money or ad revenue. It is a nice bonus. It is great to get product reviews and to try new things in addition to honing our writing skills and being involved in a community online.
However, that being said, I think the real controversy is that *some* bloggers blog about how much money they are making and how many product reviews they receive and how many invites they receive to corporate blogging events. *Some* bloggers write about PR pitches and that mommybloggers should define their worth and not take the first pitch they receive and they tell us to try to figure out how much we should charge for ad space, etc.
But sometimes, those *same* bloggers aren't necessarily willing to share the wealth, so to speak, with others. Mommybloggers are most definitely united on social and just causes, but when it comes to blog revenue, there is no union. It's every mommyblogger for herself and I think that's where this controversy stems from.
Know the biggest reason why I wanted to go to New Jersey? To see my friends whom I love. Plain and simple.
(Well, okay. Free samples of KY had something to do with it too.)
Oh so much to say!
Things have changed so much since I started blogging over 5 years ago. Hell, they have changed SO much since that first BlogHer mommyblogging panel in '05 when people laughed at the idea of a panel like that. (What would THEY have to talk about?) Now look. Mom bloggers getting the free trips, the products, the media love when we were the ones who were on the side just a few years ago. Every year since that year at BlogHer there has been a mommyblogger panel. A good topic to revisit. From then to now.
I agree with Busy Mom. It isn't what is being offered that is changing the way people are blogging. It is how they are changing they way they are blogging because of what is being offered.
@Mom101: How the hell did I miss out on f*ck me fridays??! *whine* I miss all the good stuff.
@Jennsylvania Thanks for the reminder that our agents read our blogs. Calling it in because you "have to post" or feel you need to for numbers, stats or revenue shows in your writing. I can see it on my own blog, sadly. Thanks for reminding me why I started blogging. (It wasn't the money. There was none.) Had I phoned it in, my agent would never had shown any interest in my writing and I wouldn't be signed with her today.
re: BlogHer Ads. I do think the reason they started out in such a great way IS because Lisa contacted each of us personally and made us feel like we were important. That mattered. Now they have Jenny and Jen who do all they can to keep it personal and do a damn fine job of it, too. (Quite a feat with thousands of bloggers in the network.)
Basically, write whatever the hell you want to write about, but for the love of all things f*ck me fridays, just get back to writing for the love of writing and stop worrying about trips, products, top tier bloggers and popularity.
Just Write.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but if someone paid me an extra week of groceries once a month for writing my blog, I would be over the moon.
I think mommyblogging has become an industry because so many women who can write, are wanting to find ways to stay home with their children and make some money for their families, so they can afford to eat and drive their cars. Maybe if it weren't so damned hard to make ends meet in this country, Google Ads wouldn't look so appetizing.
Candy, I'm more than happy with my ad revenue- It makes a big difference in my family. I used that example only to say that it seems like some mommybloggers are expecting to make a living off of their blog revenue- and even those of us who couldn't ask for more traffic couldn't even make a part time job amount out of ad revenue alone. Women hoping to make serious income off of their blog's ad revenue would probably have an easier time starting an eBay business or something like that, in my opinion.
Perfect timing, perfect post.
I stumbled across the world of mommyblogging two years ago, and was surprised and delighted with the sense of community and quality of the writing. After about a year of reading, I really started wanting to start my own. My motives were relatively unsullied by thoughts of international acclaim or ad money flying out of my laptop--I just kinda felt like I had walked into a really great dinner party, and after lurking around the edge of the room, I was now ready to sit down, introduce myself and start having fun.
But before I could get myself together enough to launch my own blog, I ended up responding to an article in our newspaper, the Tennessean, and got hired to be one of the bloggers for a new website they were launching, Music City Moms. I've been doing that for over a year now and it has confirmed to me that a) I love this genre and this kind of writing and b) though the 'dinner party' is indeed fun, it's so much more--potent, powerful, affirming, and at the risk of sounding pretentious, important.
This week I found out that the blogging section of the MCM site is going to be discontinued, which served as the kick in the ass I have needed to move ahead and claim my own little corner of the momosphere. I am launching my new site this weekend, and I have spent the last few days questioning myself about so many of the same issues you just raised. Yes, the tone of mommyblogging has changed, even in the two years since I began reading them, but the ones that I love and am loyal to (like this one, Lindsey!) keep me coming back for the same reasons I originally gravitated towards them-- the pure pleasure of reading great writing. I don't mean "great writing" like Steinbeck, I mean the kind of writing that creatively and cleverly speaks to me in a voice that I recognize, that resounds in me. That kind of writing makes me laugh, and think, and feel connected to a group of women I may never meet but share so many things with-- not the least of which is a slightly skewed, irreverent take on the Sacred Calling That Is Motherhood.
And though like most people I would (unrealistically) love for my new venture to be successful and popular and revenue-producing and blahblahworlddomination, I can honestly say that that is SO not what's driving my desire and excitement in the launching of this blog. I am just really ready to take my seat at the table, order a pomegranate martini, turn to the person next to me and start the conversation.
I've found my tribe, ya'll!
(REEEALLY thinking about going to BlogHer, too... might as well jump in with both feet, right?)
Wow. That was beautiful. So well put. Sorry about the Music City Moms blogs. Please let me know your new site's address! And come to BlogHer! Also, there's going to be another BlogHer session here in Nashville in October, so you'll DEFINITELY have to come to that!
*digs toe in the dirt and looks coy, which isn't an easy look to pull off at my age*
Thanks, Lindsay! The new blog is (or will be-- being constructed as we speak) www.babybloomr.com.
I'm staying on at MCM as a Moderator on the forums, but it's a shame about the blogs.. Great response and word of mouth, but didn't really drive a lot of the traffic to the website, which to the Tennessean is, after all, the point I guess!
Whenever I start to get caught up in the latest drama, I stop and remind myself of this: it's JUST a blog. Most of my friends and family members wouldn't even know what a blog is if I didn't have one. And as famous as, say, Heather Armstrong is to all of us? There are a whole lot of people in this world who have never heard of Dooce.
I don't mean to say that blogs can't be a powerful force; they can and are. But the power of that develops in community. It comes with people saying who they are and what they think and exchanging ideas and comments with others who agree or identify or strongly disagree and are willing to go to the mat to defend their position.
If there is a blogger out there, mommy or otherwise, who thinks s/he can gain a voice without quality content and support from others, then s/he doesn't understand how this works.
In 2004, I began blogging as a creative outlet well before I had kids. After having kids, I found that blogging had become an even more important hobby for me - creatively AND socially. I have been ad-free all this time, but have toyed with the idea every now and then of doing ads. I recently went through the mental exercise again and decided again to continue being ad-free. Primarily, I want the ability to walk away from my blog at any point and I think I would become too concerned with stats.
I have accepted 2 free books for review and am willing to continue doing so. Reviewing books has been a big part of my blog anyway, so I feel that authentically fits in with the "voice" I have maintained all these years.
I am also part of Rita Aren's mommyblogging anthology (Sleep is for the Weak) that is coming out this fall (which includes gals such as Motherhood Uncensored, Finslippy, Fussy and Amalah). Regardless if any money comes out of it, I am proud of the anthology as a published piece of work in and of itself.
Overall, I just want to write silly stories about my little life. If other folks read my mental meanderings, than that is just gravy.
of course i read this post AFTER i just wrote a post bitching about not getting invited to fucking ANYTHING. lol
but i do agree with everything you're saying. hell, i didn't start blogging in 05 for free trips. i didn't start blogging for free anything. and i guess i just forgot that part when i "compare" what everyone else who i feel used to be like me is getting now. all these bloggers who i considered to be in the same category as i am, are suddenly being offered all sorts of things that i'm not. suddenly i feel not left out really- but different i guess. and almost like it's in a bad way. know what i mean?
anyway, great post.
and thank you for it.
Great post! I hope your session at BlogHer is going to be in a very large room. This post has generated so much interesting discussion.
I attended Camp Baby and met wonderful new bloggers (Jamie/blonde mom blog) and got to visit with others I already knew (Glennia/the silent I).
I'm fortunate to have had the chance to attend other corporate events as well. Rather than leaving me feeling like a blogwhore, these events have expanded my blogging community.
I don't run ads and I don't review products unless they are personally interesting, relevant or helpful. If a product fits one or more of those descriptions, I'm happy to help spread the word. (Hence two posts about the vast quantities of KY product I received as a result of Camp Baby :-)
It's posts like these that make me feel like I need a shower. Dirty, dirty, dirty!
I am a PR person and I LOVE blogging and I love this community- the thought that "we people" are potentially changing this space really makes me sad. Our goal is to just be a part of this wonderful community and hopefully bring people together- not put wedges in between you all!
Thanks for the insightful reading...
It's completely changed blogging, and it's completely changed some bloggers.
I used to read a few mommy blogs because I liked the way they wrote, then the started getting gobs of free stuff and free trips, and they began bragging about those products and trips.
They began saying things they never did before, they began calling them self a "mommy blogger" who "earned" the right to all of these products because they work so hard at blogging.
Meanwhile, their blog posts began complaining about all the work they now have to do and so they don't have time to clean the house, their husband has to do it.
One "mommy blogger" in particular, has become so stuck up and is displaying a better than everyone else attitude, that reading her posts makes me ill.
Her latest trip to Disney makes me want to vomit, all the bragging over the products she got, the trip itself, she sounds like a total elitist bitch now.
Free stuff is great, we all like it, but it's gone to people's heads and is showing up on their blogs.
The blogs which once used to be full of honesty and great writing, are now just full of posts about all the free stuff they got and need to promote, and bragging about the next free trip they are going to be going on.
Um, why don't they stop taking trips and start being the mom they once were?
Their kids barely make it into those blog posts anymore. It's all product hocking all the time.
great post! i didn't start out as a mommy blogger, but when i gave birth to my daughter 14 mo. ago, my blog naturally evolved into one about my life as a mom.
i've struggled with blog advertisements. on the one hand, i would love to make money, but i tend to feel "icky" about pushing products onto my visitors. currently i have no ads posted but i'm attempting to find a balance -- perhaps only advertise products that i totally believe in and would not feel guilty about pushing to other moms.
Thanks for writing this. It's very hard to be part of the larger mommy blog community and talk about this, IMO. Esp for someone, like myself, who wants a larger audience. Does that mean I need to do more product reviews to entice people to come and beg for the latest gadget? I personally will blog for books...but lately it's getting harder in some blog review communities because I don't have a huge readership...or so it looks like on technorati. Ugh...commercialization of mommy blogging sucks.
I totally agree. I enjoy the perks. I never in a zillion YEARS expected to get free stuff or to make a few dollars from ads. But although that stuff is great, it's a BONUS. It's NOT the purpose, and I hope it never becomes that.
I, too, am bothered by the way it has fractured the community that makes (made??) blogging so worthwhile.
Agree, 100%. I've really slacked on my own blog over the last several months, maybe a year even and although I have become much busier with my business and that is part of the reason, the other part is my lack of interest in the blogging community these days. I just don't feel it like I used to. I can barely read some anymore because of all the pitching, and some of these are/were blogging buddies. Come on, do you really like Ace Hardware?
I'm no saint myself though, I've been caught up in it and it really burned me out and turned me off. I still have BlogAds up though and have been threatening to take them down for months. As soon as I start to, another one comes in and I think “eh, I’ll take this $10.” But lately I've been trying to get back the love I once had for blogging on my own site and hopefully in turn will enjoy reading and commenting like I used to.
I always find it odd the blogs that end up "popular" though and the people chosen for some of the perks. I'm far from a great writer and because of that, I don't expect much. But I read some of these "chosen" ones and think "who the hell is reading this, do they really have 1,000 subscribers?? I then look at my favorites and they have 3...it doesn't make sense and I think the more these sub-par bloggers are getting, readers think they must be worth following and it's a vicious cycle.
Great post. I hate the mentality being pushed on me that I need to "compete" for readers or need to be a better blogger because of the attention lavished on other bloggers.
I just want to be me.
I've been blogging for about three years, and my blog is not a heavy traffic area by any definition.
I do spend a fair amount of time gushing about stuff I love and providing links to the stuff I love (mostly music and musicians).
I do it without being asked, or paid. Occasionally, though, as the result of me being a nice person and saying nice things about someone, they have given me some free stuff...but that was after I already talked nice about them...
I was recently contacted to review a book. I suppose I should be somewhat flattered. My response to them via email was, "tell me more about the book," rather than a "yes", because I'm really not interested in my blog becoming some kind of homework assignment. I blog when I feel like it, and I write about what I feel like writing about. That, to me, is the most important thing of all. Any product review that I do there MUST be in line with what is already happening on the blog, or its not going to happen.
I do keep an Amazon Widget on my blog, but again, its mostly just to promote stuff that I like, and I get to choose what items display there. It makes me ZERO money.
On the one hand, I am glad that advertisers are "finding" blogs, because frankly, this is the REAL DEAL. Do you want to know what people think? REALLY think? Read blogs. Lots and lots of blogs...because we talk about real things. They would be wise to pay attention to us.
On the other hand...there is a danger. If you're not stubborn like me, all of this attention from advertisers WILL change you. Maybe thats what you want, and thats fine. What if, however, you become one of the "in" people getting free stuff and now STUFF is all you talk about? Then your content is no longer the "real" material that drew the advertisers and readers to you in the first place, and everybody loses.
I don't know that I agree--(she says politely) I mean, I started blogging so that I'd have completely editorial discretion and the idea that there is a select group of momblogs that defined the niche and are now guardians of the cannon is disturbing to me. So instead of dealing with the gatekeepers in the print media suddenly there are now gatekeepers in the momblogging community? I don't like it. I guess the question is: Who died and made them queen?
I'm not so sure that a post about cocktail party playdates or circumcision is more valid than a post on the latest gadget that helps home life run a little easier. And I'm not sure that it's the moral issue that some are trying to make it into.
It seems a little catty for momblogs (including myself) to spend more time pointing fingers at why the other woman isn't adequate than to just concentrate on writing good content for my own blog.
Because after all--good content is good content and will ultimately decide the issue--not Sony or Proctor & Gamble or the Gap.
Great post! I really stay out of the blog politics and popularity contests.
Recently I removed all ads from my blog except BlogHer. I just felt like the little revenue they generated wasn't enough for how much content space they took up on my page. I kept BlogHer ads, not for the little bit of money I make from them, but because it's such a great community to be part of and the traffic the network generates.
I don't write a blog for money, but I do write it in hopes that it will be read - and in hopes that other writing opportunities will arise from it.
This is the same thing that happened with homeschooling; it started off as community then got commercialized and it changed its nature
Donna
Love this post, love the discussion too. I was astonished to come back after a blogging hiatus and see how much has changed... and nobody seemed to notice.
It changed from "content is king" to "contests are king"? Gah. ;-)
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