Comments on Suburban Turmoil: Save the Drama for Your Mama

I just wanted to say that I agree with you. Well, ...

2009-07-15T08:43:16.307-05:00

I just wanted to say that I agree with you. Well, it is naturally that when you say your opinion some people might get offended by that. Even if you explained what you said and what you meant, some people still wouldn't understand. So, don't let that shake your ground. I always find good things in your posts and I encourage you to keep writing good.

@ElisaC is dead on about slashdot and other male-d...

2009-06-01T15:45:51.150-05:00

@ElisaC is dead on about slashdot and other male-dominated sites. There are plenty of flame wars there, and nothing I've seen in the parenting blog space even comes close in terms of meanness. I am soooo much more careful about what I post on slashdot than what I post on any parenting blog.

I also think respectful disagreements are healthy, particularly amongst people who use their blog as part of their career. Most careers require us to have opinions on certain subjects, and to be willing and able to defend those opinions.

I can really relate to what you said here, about b...

2009-05-31T07:00:33.921-05:00

I can really relate to what you said here, about blogging being a way to safely share without being encountered by judgment and uncomfortable silences. I can SO relate.

Moving around a lot can play tricks on you. You may be the kind of person who feels immediately at home, and even then, you may still feel like a stranger, an alien, after you talk to someone you don't have as much in common with as you thought.

I'm not one to strive to fit in, but I do strive to find community, somewhere I belong. Don't we all, to a degree?

Blogging, in that sense, is like NYC: no matter who you are, where you are from, no matter your beliefs, your parenting style, your personality, your likes and dislikes, you can find somewhere you belong, you can find community and friends, even if they are miles away.

I didn't find your blog post offensive - what offends me is the assumption that women don't like other women. Also, what offends me is that people now second-guess every positive comment that's posted on a blog because they assume it must be a paid review. What about those of us who like to share our opinions about everything, ranging from whether to CIO or not to which wedge sandals are most comfortable to walk in? What about those of us whose opinion is NOT for sale? Who refuse to see themselves as a brand? I resent the "new wave of bloggers" a little bit for hurting my credibility as well as theirs.

I just hope this ends soon so we can go back to things as they were. Does that make ma a party pooper? :-)

Wow... and I thought the autism world was into co...

2009-05-29T07:59:49.198-05:00

Wow... and I thought the autism world was into controversy! Glad you can sit down for martinis and work out differences, tho... one of those "power of small" things that every group of people should be able to do!

Lisa

Hi, first time commentor here. I have to say, yeah...

2009-05-28T21:34:00.976-05:00

Hi, first time commentor here. I have to say, yeah. I find it hard to frequent a lot of mommy blogs, boards etc. because somehow someway it always ends up back in the high school cafeteria. Sometimes it's the moms themselves, but often times it is outside influences who, I guess, what to yell "catfight". It is certainly a societal thing that pushes women to compete instead of becoming a community (which is not always possible). Anyway, enjoy you a lot!

I'm not offended at all! I can easily address all ...

2009-05-28T13:55:23.941-05:00

I'm not offended at all! I can easily address all of your points, because I've actually put a lot of thought into all that's on/not on this blog.

Anything I link to on this site is editorial. It's something that you would see on this blog, only I'm lucky enough to get paid to write whatever I want for a couple of other publications. All you're seeing is a different header, so I have no problems directing you over there. At the same time, you guys give me great traffic, which my editors notice, and which, I'm sure, helps me keep my writing jobs. That's good for everyone. I can write more and you can support me and my writing without spending a penny.

The reviews have an advertorial feel. They are totally my real, honest opinion, but they are also mostly positive because I only accept products I think I'll like and can use- and in many cases, I'm using the product/service already, so when I get a request to write about it, well of course I will. I felt strange even linking to them on my weekend posts, so I've solved that problem by putting them in my sidebar. I will still link to giveaways when I have them because again, that benefits you and you generally have a GREAT chance of winning my giveaways.

The first time I offered to comment on the blogs of people who left a comment at the City Paper, I had new editors and I wanted them to know who I was. Heh. But I've really enjoyed the system that creates. Once, several months ago, I offered to comment on everyone's blog who left a comment on this site. I got so many comments that I was completely overwhelmed. At the CP, I typically get between 20 and 40 comments, and that's fairly manageable in a week (although 40 is pushing it, and I am ALWAYS running behind). I REALLY like visiting you guys and the comments gives me a way to do that. It feels good to visit the blogs of people who really want me there. And it's a great way of keeping in touch. So I've continued that practice.

Hope that answers your questions.

...I believe you hun. Hang in there. Perhaps st...

2009-05-28T11:38:29.458-05:00

...I believe you hun.

Hang in there.

Perhaps stick a Bumpit in a tree and hang onto that.

:)

hahahahaha blooming... if I looked half as hawt as...

2009-05-28T00:39:06.180-05:00

hahahahaha blooming... if I looked half as hawt as Lindsay, my blog pic would be nekkid. N-e-k to the k-i-d.

I thought your original post was perfect and I thi...

2009-05-27T21:31:23.280-05:00

I thought your original post was perfect and I think this one is too! Your honesty keeps me coming back for more!

Almost all critical comments are, in fact, a defen...

2009-05-27T21:08:50.371-05:00

Almost all critical comments are, in fact, a defense of the writer. Whether you're talking about stay-at-home versus working moms, (and dads), reviewing and non-reviewing blogs, yada, yada, the most vitriolic people are actually trying to defend their own position - because they're not even 60% sure of it.
To thine own self be true! Rock on!

Dang...shoulda had another comma after intellect i...

2009-05-27T15:02:30.873-05:00

Dang...shoulda had another comma after intellect in that last sentence. Hate when that happens ;)

Not a mommie (wrong plumbing altogether fer that),...

2009-05-27T14:59:57.298-05:00

Not a mommie (wrong plumbing altogether fer that), and don't do or knowingly visit product review blogs. Not my gig.

I just like Lindsay's blog 'cuz she's funny, plucky, and can match verbal punch-for-punch with any detractor.

I don't see what's to get snarky about in her post in the first place, bearing in mind my perspective differs (you know how we guys see things differently). And yeah, one commenter did note we dudes have snarky exchanges on our blogs about really important stuff like golf, beer, state comparisons and the total nonsense of the BCS in selecting college bowl games and rankings.

My two cents ain't worth squat in this argument, but I support Lindsay's humor, intellect and articulate way of expressing both.

I still don't get why it is okay to make mass judg...

2009-05-27T11:44:53.809-05:00

I still don't get why it is okay to make mass judgments on women OR men.

To quote a comment above: "This post just affirms what I've always believed...women are bitches. Why is there always the need to be negative? Women love to fuel drama where there was no fire in the first place. It's so much easier to be friends with men."

Can you imagine someone writing, "This post just affirms what I've always believed... Latinos are bitches. Why is there always the need to be negative? Latinos love to fuel drama where there was no fire in the first place. It's so much easier to be friends with only white people," on this blog?

If you really think women have a monopoly on drama, you aren't paying attention.

I'm not certain how necessary or unnecessary the d...

2009-05-27T11:32:42.713-05:00

I'm not certain how necessary or unnecessary the debate about marketing mombloggers is. I've been reading parent blogs for years, but only recently made an effort to join in. The marketing, well, I don't really care one way or the other.

The thing that really got me about this post was that when I read your other post, I didn't think that it could have been misconstrued. I'm pretty sure that the blogosphere is great because of the diversity and availability of opinions, so even if your opinion had been something horrid and evil, I would have shrugged and gone "eh." What's to get worked up about? REALLY?!

I hope that there isn't too much "drama" involved in this after this post. If it means anything at all, at least one of your readers didn't take the post out of context.

Oh, pleez. I thought that as always, you were cry...

2009-05-27T10:23:11.844-05:00

Oh, pleez.

I thought that as always, you were crystalline clear in stating your opinion and that it was not in any way an attack on anyone. The whole "women are all b@tches and secretly hate each other" (oh hai Sundays!) argument is tired and dated. I have personally found the blogging world in general and YOU in particular have been nothing but welcoming and inclusive to me. Women can be each other's biggest supporters if we just drop all the preconceived stereotypes and accept each other as individuals.

(Although I do feel compelled to mention in Christian love that the cleavage displayed in your blog photo does leave one with the impression that you are kinda a big ol' ho bag. But you didn't hear it from me.)

It always frustrates me when I take the time to wr...

2009-05-27T10:19:39.847-05:00

It always frustrates me when I take the time to write a well-thought out blog, and then I have to write a follow up blog to explain it. I think people really need to just relax already. :)

Some bloggers just want attention for themselves -...

2009-05-27T10:13:17.535-05:00

Some bloggers just want attention for themselves -- pure and simple. I have read twitter threads where a twitterer has incited some sort of reaction through a tweet or a blog post. I like engaging in positive ways on twitter and through blogs. Now I'm not influential nor do I have a lot of traffic on my blog, but I like to have discussions that are cordial.

Also, noticed that some twitterers are so concerned with guarding their topic area/turf that they will get downright nasty with someone who encroaches on their turf.

I didn't read all your comments before posting thi...

2009-05-27T09:55:32.969-05:00

I didn't read all your comments before posting this, so I apologize in advance if I'm repeating...

The bottom line is that controversy sells. Having read your origial post, commented, and read your thoughtful responses I did not see any tearing down of other women.

But is it a great, attention grabbing post to write, "Lindsay has a thoughtful conversation going on her blog about blah, blah, blah...?" Nope. Is it attention grabbing to spark controversy by blowing your post completely out of proportion and misrepresenting it? Absolutely.

This sort of tactic is standard fare in politics, and as the world of blogging becomes more lucrative and developed I'd expect you'll see more of it. It doesn't make it right, but I'd expect it.

Just keep doing what you're doing :)

NotAlwaysCharming...wasn't a typo. Its an obviousl...

2009-05-27T09:52:13.388-05:00

NotAlwaysCharming...wasn't a typo. Its an obviously stupid phrase that doesn't translate back to text well...

LOL!

Sorry for the potty humor.

Trisha
momdot.com

oh, well said!! and i think a little provacative w...

2009-05-27T09:51:48.732-05:00

oh, well said!! and i think a little provacative writing is always good for a shake up! because being a professional blog-stalker, you can lulled into a sort of hypnotic stare after awhile. that's why i love to read you.
people get their feelings hurt so quickly. perhaps it's time we all learn how to count to ten before we let our fingers fly over a keyboard.

I read the mombloggersclub article that you mentio...

2009-05-27T09:26:06.277-05:00

I read the mombloggersclub article that you mentioned and thought that it was right on point. However, I don't think that it was directed at you/bloggers who write like you. There have been several other (not as balanced) posts that have been written lately on these topics. Also, the MBC post wasn't saying that there shouldn't be disagreement. Rather, that it should be more civil. For those who have been following other discussions (or even looking at some of the comments that your post generated), it's obvious that some bloggers have taken this difference of opinion to an unnecessarily nasty, personal level.

I keep thinking about this issue because the flood...

2009-05-27T08:28:42.701-05:00

I keep thinking about this issue because the floodgates have opened and everyone continues to talk about it (my friend Y wrote a post about it yesterday).

For one thing, I think any anger at promotional, product-promoting mom bloggers is misplaced. Not many of us would or do turn down amazing products and free trips when they're offered to us, and why should we? Most of us are blogging for free, and the products and trips are a nice way to feel compensated for what we do, at no cost to the reader.

I do feel a little irritation toward some marketers, who keep pushing the line on product placement on our blogs. Early this year, I turned down $1500 for product placement on this blog. $1500! I said I was happy to put it on my review blog, but the marketer said no, that wouldn't do. And in this economy, I can imagine there are a lot of moms who would feel compelled to take the money and throw prior "standards" out the window.

So if anything, I think it's the marketers who are responsible for the sudden advertorial content on mom blogs, by throwing highly tempting amounts of money/ products at the moms who'll do it and making it difficult to say no. I wish we could have banded together as a group and drawn a line for marketers on what is and isn't appropriate, but it's obviously too late now.

You seem to have a lot of posts that have commente...

2009-05-27T08:27:06.526-05:00

You seem to have a lot of posts that have commenters ripping into you. In fact, it reminds me of e-mails between my mother-in-law and me. I've learned a lot from those e-mails and I would suggest that you take the stance that those people who rip into you probably already lean toward disliking you and look for things to pounce on. You can explain yourself but it doesn't really matter because the readers who are open-minded already know you weren't biased, and the others already have their minds made up about you anyway. Am I making sense?

If you aren't honest about the "deep" stuff how co...

2009-05-27T08:09:33.378-05:00

If you aren't honest about the "deep" stuff how could I trust the "not-so-deep."

What if I ended up with a mountain sized bump-o-cool on my head because you were afraid of the backlash.

Well written!

No, you don't NEED anyone to believe that because ...

2009-05-27T07:59:27.559-05:00

No, you don't NEED anyone to believe that because you know it. Getting flak just means you hit a nerve. Some people get offended by the opinions of others. Especially when it flies in the face of their own.

I personally don't care who writes what on their blog. I personally have started and quit blogging so many times because I feel like I may not know where to draw the line on privacy. I live a transparent existence, and I don't want a blog that is anything less. At the same time I don't want to cross anyone else's boundaries, including my kids.

So, the navigation of blogging continues, and I'm proud of you for bringing a portion of the considerations to attention. Good for you!