Baby is sitting on her big girl potty, straining with all her might.
"Come out, poo poo!" she commands threateningly.
"Oh no!" she responds in a squeaky voice. "Baby poo poo is afraid of falling!"
"No, iss okay!" she says reassuringly.
"Baby poo poo wants its mommy!" she squeaks back.
"Baby poo poo will be so happy in the potty," I reassure my little Sybil. "That's where Baby Poo Poo wants to go." I can't help feeling very strange. I mean I never imagined I'd establish dialogue with, you know, poo poo.
"Baby poo poo is so scared!" Baby says mournfully.
Frantically, I start thumbing through my toddler manuals. Where are the sections on what to do when your child's poo poo develops a personality? How could the child psychologists have overlooked this obvious potential landmine?
Finding nothing, I decide to treat Baby Poo Poo like any other imaginary friend. As far as I'm concerned, it doesn't exist. I set no extra place for dear Poo Poo at the dinner table, leave no seat cleared for him in the car. And for a while it seems to work. BPP isn't mentioned again.
Until this morning.
"Mommy, we don't love pee pee and we don't love poo poo," Baby reported while I fixed her hair.
"That's right," I said, "We don't. We want them to go away and get in the potty."
"Oh no!" she cried, wounded. "You hurt Poo Poo's feelings!"
"What the..." I said, before stopping myself. "But we don't love Poo Poo."
"Baby Poo Poo's nice," she said defensively. "An' he's so sad now."
I stared at her dumbly.
I hurt my daughter's poo poo's feelings.
Isn't this supposed to be the part where they come and take me away?
Why am I suddenly reminded of Mr. Hanky from South Park?
ReplyDeleteNot to worry, this to shall pass... in more ways than one. :-)
"...what to do when your child's poo poo develops a personality?"
ReplyDeleteYou send her to film school, which she'll be tossed out of (possibly because she talks to poopoo). Then she'll make her first movie borrowing on credit cards, it'll be a smash and she'll make scads of money...just like Kevin Smith did.
Is it significant that my verification word is "pwnse"?
When I read this, I almost fell off the couch from laughing so hard. This converation sounds SOOOO much like much of the dialogue that goes on during the day in my house.
ReplyDeleteBaby sounds like she has quite a little personality.
We dont talk to our Poo Poo but my Grace tells me that she likes to poo poo in he diaper cause the potty splashes her butt.
ReplyDeleteAmazing how hysterical these toddlers are!?
tee hee! When my daughter was potty training, she would wave as the poo poo was going down the toilet, er, potty, and she's say, "Bye, bye poo poo! See you tomorrow!"
ReplyDeleteThanks for reminding me...I had almost forgotten that. :-)
My five year old step-daughter sits and encourages her self and talks to herself to go.
ReplyDeleteYou will walk by the bathroom and hear..."It's ok...you'll be ok. You'll feel alot better when it's over."
Somehow over the years she learned to do that. Cracks me up everytime.
This is so cute and so funny that I just wish I could come up with SOMETHING witty or appropriate to say. But I can't. So I think I'll just sit here and re-read the Baby Poo Poo story again and giggle my butt off...
ReplyDeleteOh, my...that's just precious.
ReplyDeleteI thought of Mr. Hanky, too!!
Hahaha! I long for the day when we talk to the poo-poo here. It's still just "what a mess!" when I take the diaper off. Some day my son too will realize that the Poo Poo is his friend... And that it LIKES to go into the toilet.
ReplyDeleteThe imagination these kids have!
ReplyDeleteDo you think the Baby Poo Poo might have a connection to the Baby you happen to be carrying?
This is EXACTLY why parenthood is effin' awesome! You can't make this stuff up it's so good!
ReplyDeleteLike Ginger's kid, my son used to wave bye bye to his Poo Poo every day...after telling me it was going to visit his grandmother.
ReplyDeleteWorked for me. Fric pooped and my mom got a boat load of shit coming her way.
Win-win as far as I was concerned.
We told the kids that the poop needed to find his (or her) friends. The toilet was very special, because it was the only way for the poo to find the other poo. But. Big But. We don't need to send toys to the poo. They are happy just playing with each other.
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHow did my kid miss out on this? I mean I've read about kids becomming attached to their poo, but my kid never did. Hummm
ReplyDeleteOh well, no use crying over it.
Thank you so much for the smile! My daughter's imaginary friends are two bunnies and two tickies (don't know what a tickie is). I am so glad that she hasn't adopted her poop yet. Though it would be nice if she would deposit it in the potty. Just once.
ReplyDeleteHummm both my boys were not overly fond of their poo poo. Well unless it was to talk about how bad it smells.
ReplyDeleteI think she's messin' witch ya. I don't think it will damage her later in life if you tell her now, in fact, that we don't, under any circumstances, love poo poo. Poo poo stinks and we don't love it. Bye bye poo poo.
ReplyDeletePromise you'll save several loads and everything will be swell again.
ReplyDeletethat is just classic.
ReplyDeletecan we nominate YOU for pefect post???? that is the funniest post ever!! I LOVE It!!!!
ReplyDeleteIs your daughter sending secret email messages to my son? Because today, for the first time ever, he told me not to empty out the potty into the toilet because his pee "could get lost..." He was very upset so I left it in the potty chair and will flush it while he is watching a video. Because I am a big meanie who WANTS his pee to get lost!
ReplyDeleteHoly crap! (no pun intended) that is freaking hysterical
ReplyDeleteSounds like your daughter is going to make it big in the children's publishing business!
ReplyDeleteOH my god, that's the best thing I've ever read. BabyPooPoo. Awesome.
ReplyDeleteFrom a psychological/developmental perspective, she is amazingly astute and really clearly expressing her fears. I'm impressed!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePS: I used to keep a stuffed Mr Hanky in the bathroom for, you know, inspiration....
Your blog cracks me up. I like the comment about having Poo Poo find his friends
ReplyDelete1. At least your daughter is sitting on the potty and has possibly GONE poo poo before on there. (Mine--not interested AT ALL.)
ReplyDelete2. As far as imaginary friends go, at least your daughter is getting creative.
3. No worries--I don't think they would carry you way to the white padded room unless YOU were talking to your own poo-poo.
Okay, I'm going to tell you something I haven't admitted before - we totally told Pumpkinpie that her pooh is excited to go down the toilet and play with the other poohs. You may want to use that...
ReplyDeleteCan I go back and nominate this for perfect post? Priceless.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of when Stimpy searches forlornly for his lost fart!
ReplyDeleteI laughed and laughed, and read it to my Love, and laughed and laughed. Thanks! :o) I have a 2 yr old boy. Now I know why he won't poopie in the potty. ;)
ReplyDelete